Post by Laura on Dec 25, 2003 1:25:19 GMT -5
For three days I was really good, and although I lapsed a few times, I was able to control myself.
Today, Christmas Day, was going to be my unofficial ZT beginning.
But last night, and this morning, I don't know if it was excitement of Christmas or something, but I couldn't prevent the overwhelming feeling of needing to pick. And when I started picking I couldn't help myself, I felt like I needed to make up for lost time from the days I didn't pick.
The feelinng was so overwhelming it was as if I couldn't stand looking at my clear skin. And what's worse is that its summer here, so I am wearing a singlet top, which reveals alot of skin.
I was glad to have reduced my picking the last few days, but it felt even better to start picking again.
Maybe I'm just not ready to stop yet?
Maybe I need to address the underlying emotional problems which cause me to pick - first I need to reduce my anxiety before I can reduce my picking?
These are all things I can disscuss with my psychiatrist on Jan 8th... only 2 weeks away!
But until then, at the very least I am only going to pick areas that can be hidden under a t-shirt - if I'm going to have bad skin, I'd rather it not be on my face!!!
Today, Christmas Day, was going to be my unofficial ZT beginning.
But last night, and this morning, I don't know if it was excitement of Christmas or something, but I couldn't prevent the overwhelming feeling of needing to pick. And when I started picking I couldn't help myself, I felt like I needed to make up for lost time from the days I didn't pick.
The feelinng was so overwhelming it was as if I couldn't stand looking at my clear skin. And what's worse is that its summer here, so I am wearing a singlet top, which reveals alot of skin.
I was glad to have reduced my picking the last few days, but it felt even better to start picking again.
Maybe I'm just not ready to stop yet?
Maybe I need to address the underlying emotional problems which cause me to pick - first I need to reduce my anxiety before I can reduce my picking?
These are all things I can disscuss with my psychiatrist on Jan 8th... only 2 weeks away!
But until then, at the very least I am only going to pick areas that can be hidden under a t-shirt - if I'm going to have bad skin, I'd rather it not be on my face!!!