Damnit!!! I was going so well.... then I was bad!

[Laura]

Yesterday I didn't pick ALL day... I was SO proud of myself!

... At least until I went to bed.

I was lying in bed, and because its Summer here, I wasn't wearing very much, otherwise I would've been much too hot. And stupid, STUPID me didn't turn the light off fast enough! I saw my bare skin... and it was too late.

I couldn't stop myself. I'm so angry now that I didn't stop myself! Now my chest and shoulders look horrible again - and its all my fault!

But it wasn't as bad as it could've been - I avoided mirrors, and because of that I didn't touch my face! My face is actually looking sort of good!!!!!

I looked in the mirror before getting in the shower this morning - but thankfully I restrained myself from touching and destroying my clear skin. And I didn't look in the mirror as I got out of the shower because it was all steamed up.

I put pimple cream on while I was getting dressed, and then put a tshirt on which covered all my problem areas - so I haven't touched my skin all morning! Except for one huge zit on my neck... but I haven't squeezed or picked it, only felt it with my finger. Its a very painful one too - which also helps stop me from touching it.

OMG! My brother just asked me if I was going out today. When I asked why he asked, he said because I looked nicer than usual - I can't believe he noticed! He usually doesn't give a crap. That's just given me more confidence to not touch my face!!!

Today I won't touch.
Today I will achieve that which yesterday I could not.
Today I will win.

[Laura]

Crap...

I picked!!!

And its only early afternoon! But the good news is that I didn't pick my skin...

I picked ONE scab in my hair. Which is still bad, but not as bad as my face or chest! Today is cool enough to wear a jumper - so I made an effort to cover up - if I can't see my skin, there is less chance of me picking at it.

I won't lapse again.
My first and current goal is to stop picking my face.
Then on Christmas Day my goal is to stop picking my shoulders and chest (and other parts of my body), ZT unofficially begins.
New Year will be to stop picking, and that includes scratching my hair. That will be when my ZT officially begins.

Wish me luck!

[Laura]

Nooooo!!!

I picked AGAIN!

One on my neck (not the huge one, just a little one), and I scratched one on my cheek! I was trying REALLY hard not to touch my face!

I will NOT touch my skin again today...
I hope that I won't...
Hope that I will be able to control my behaviour...

Its so hard... I can't even get through a whole day without picking. I feel like such a loser!

[Cheer group]

We know you can beat this Laura, we believe in you. Before you know it you'll be living it up with us We always love you!


-Ally and Nick

[Kitsune with her cheering fans]

GO LAURA GO LAURA if you pick you are a dick!



... if its any consolation i kinda have i thing were i'll just sratch my head, but it only happens when i'm bored

[Laura]

Hee hee!

I have my own little Support Groupies!

I've decided that I am going to open up to all my friends and tell them about my CSP. The more I talk about it the better I feel, and they can help me - especially if I am with them and they notice me lapse!

I realise now I can't beat this alone!