Breakdown

[Secret]

Yesterday I had a complete emotional brekdown, I didn't pick though. I'm just so angry that I've scarred myself. I can't forgive myself for it. I'm usually pretty good at accepting myself, but not yesterday, I feel like I really messed myself up forever, that I'll never be the same, and all I had to do to prevent feeling this way is have a little willpower. I also found out my ex is seeing the girl he cheated on me with. I felt low. We were such good friends. I had a dream that night about running on a beach with good friends and being filled with joy, but then my friends started running faster than me and it became a competion and I know I had this dream because Keith and I were great friends...until he tells me this and I get jealouse. Everything is happy and good...joy and contentment in being platonic, then he's with the other woman. Grrrr. Big game. Anyway, thanks for letting me get this out.

[nix]

Congratulations for not resorting to picking! Good for you! I'm sorry about the ex thing, but I'm glad you are dealing with it in a healthy way...

[tryingreallyhard]

Hang in there. Breakdowns are okay. You can handle this. And it's a huge accomplishment that you did not pick. Woo hoo! I don't know you but I'm proud of you.

As for being mad at yourself, that's okay too, but remember that scars do fade. There's also treatments and medications that can help them to go away.
And as for forgiving yourself (or others who have hurt you) I can personally recommend a book that had a profound impact on me. It's called "Forgiveness: How to make peace with your past and get on with your life" by a Dr. Simon, I believe.

Good luck and feel free to vent here anytime! That's what we're here for.