|
|
Post by anon,irresp. on Nov 14, 2003 14:18:02 GMT -5
ok i got this idea from my post regarding my question about my current wound. zoner gave me a great example that helps me further remember the consequences.
how about we go down memore lane and talk about how we treated ouselves. of course not all memories in one thread, that would be too much to write about, since we have so many. ok i'll start some examples on this thread. this might help remember the consequences. and reading others might help. either free flow of writing or organized, whatever mood you may be at the time. THIS MIGHT BE USED WHEN HAVE THAT TEMPTATION, AND RESISTING IT, AND DURING THE RESISTING TIME TO REMEMBER WHY RESISTING.
1.
WHAT: ok one o f the more recent scars on my chin. it occured while i was working. meaning during that time, but at home of course. well i'm sure like all the rest, it was probably either a small pimple or a big one.
WHAT HAPPENED: i had this deep upen hole, open at times and with scab. it occured right before my friend's bachelorette party. so i have not seen her in months. even last meeting i cancelled due to scabby skin. ok so i went not only with her but a dear classmate. it was the size of a quorter on my chin. and not only that the scab was thinly hanging over a "the size of your pinkie tip" hole, so it was indented!!!! that is what made it look horrible, not only in light but even dark.
---ok reminder i work in the healt field
--imagine going to a doctor's office and one of the staff taking care of you looks like that
--this lasted for about a month. of couse different stages, but obvious and ugly no matter what.
--ok and i also went to a meeting with all these physicians and health care providers in that specialty from all over the country. i could see how they tried to ignore it, but their disaproval was obvious.
RESULT: well now 5 months later. well 5 mo from beginning probably only about 4 moths since it actually healed. it is my only raised (hypertrophic) scar on my face. it is a red raised the size of the pinky tip on my chin. it is the size of a big big mole. even makeup does not cover the red. well i know the red will go with time.
|
|
|
|
Post by Masha on Nov 14, 2003 16:31:54 GMT -5
I once ended up digging and ripping such a large area of skin on my cheek, it was half my cheek not joking. It did not heal properly for 2-3 months and I had to tell everyone it was a burn: the first month it was so bloody and infected I had it covered with a big plaster - on my cheek, going to uni like that - JUST IMAGINE!
|
|
Zoner
New Member
Posts: 46
|
Post by Zoner on Nov 14, 2003 16:58:56 GMT -5
Great Idea anon-
I've actually been able to reduce the amount of picking on my face just thinking about not wanting any more scabs etc... but I continue to pick at other areas of my body. they're hidden.....
you know my recent scar/consequence.
I have another consequence I'd like to talk about, but it's not from just one specific instance of picking.
I was looking at my face the other day in the mirror. I was really trying to practice self control. I told myself to stare in the mirror and resist the urge to pick (I don't recommend trying that- it didn't work for me!!)
anyway- i just noticed all the little red scars from left over scabs/wounds. those will heal in time. but there are some red marks- I think like little spider veins that will now never go away. I think they're actually popped blood vessels/capillaries from picking so intensly. So, eventually when I stop picking, my face will look much better, but those little red things will always be there.
I don't have too many, but if I continue I will. so, I should think about that and have it be an incentive to stop.
|
|
|
|
Post by anon,irresp. on Nov 14, 2003 17:16:44 GMT -5
that is true zoner. its amazing after all the scars. we still think this one will not produce that much damage.
its like rushian rullet. i don't know the spelling. its when they have a gun and keep shooting at themselves and miss the bullet. eventually there will be an actual bullet.
zoner, i think those broken vessels might go away. but that doesn't matter. its what u said that matters. to not make more.
( i just started watching dr phil, i usually don't have the time, but i'm gonna learn to tape things, caue obviously i will enter the world and work again) from him i guess: i think its most important to accept ourselves, even if we don't like our bodies. that is really hard for me now, with the scars. i have good times and bad times.
SINCE I'M HERE, ANOTHER TRIP DOWN SELF DESTRUCTIVE MEMORY LANE:
WHAT:
THE FIRST SCARS AND INTRUSIVE ACTIONS THAT WERE SEVERE ENOUGHT TO BE LABELED THE FIRST MAJOR EPISODE 4 YEARS AGO AND DOWNHILL SINCE THEN.
WHAT HAPPENED:
oh boy, i do't know what happened, but before this i had minor incidents and always touched my acne, but it was one at a time and it seemed normal, nothing to pay attention to.
---it got worse and worse
----ok somehow i don't know from what, but little acne like,,,,well touched....*middle of forehead, right between my eyebrows longitudinally a line going down about 4 inches, right of my cheed right next to my nose, i don't remember where else on face, but i'm sure there was more, one on right lower arm, 3 or 4 on both upper thighs. and one spot on left breast)
-------ok, this was the first incident, i was going to school, i kept touching and applying makeup, retouching and aplying makeup,,,,i saw school nurse.....failed in school....couldn't sleep, i was scared, my mind was confused,,,what's going on..why won't heal? we looked into it,,,,,i eventually saw derm....first time told me i am making it worse...prescribed prozac,,,,i felt ashamed..took it but ashamed...saw psychiatrist....due to good standing is school previously allowed to repeat sememster, not thrown out of program..........it finally healed ....i don't remember.....2-3 months probably......
ok, at time wore t shirts and no bangs, ,,,,i was embarrased,,,,,,,this is what propagated the rest eventuallly i think.......well more for later...unfortunately
|
|
Zoner
New Member
Posts: 46
|
Post by Zoner on Nov 14, 2003 18:41:13 GMT -5
Interesting that you mentioned Dr. Phil-
I don't usually what him b/c I'm at work. but my sister worhsips him.
anyway, I got thinking about writing in to him to address the issue- ya know, make it more public and hopefully spawn more research.
I don't know though-
I think i'd be afraid to write if he wanted me to go on tv- so I haven't.
I wonder though, if someone did, how any other people on the board would feel about 'coming out'.
|
|
|
|
Post by basementchick on Nov 15, 2003 3:45:48 GMT -5
Zoner,
I had lots of broken capillaries on my cheeks from years of picking. I recently underwent 3 sessions of photorejuvenation which got rid of most of them. It's a procedure which helps people with rosacea.
Speak with your derm about it or get info off the net.
|
|
|
|
Post by Elsie on Nov 15, 2003 6:47:10 GMT -5
About this Dr. Phil thing...... before Kathy had to erase everything from the original boards, someone started a thread that mentioned how we should all write to Oprah. I can't remember who it was, but I know a lot of people replied saying they wrote to her as well, hoping she would do a show. Maybe we should try again, AND Dr. Phil too? Elsie  |
|
Zoner forgot to log in
Guest
|
Post by Zoner forgot to log in on Nov 15, 2003 10:02:38 GMT -5
that's funny- i thought of oprah too!
I just checked out their websites and we can email them with show ideas. If people are in for it, I would suggest we all put the same thing in the subject heading- either dermatillomania, compulsive skin picking, or I think another name for it is neurotic excorciation. (i think that ones' funny- but pretty accurate!)
I would suggest we each give a little bit of a personal background, and mention the board too- how we've found each others support, but not really support in the medical community.
should we start a new thread to see who wants to do it?
I'm all in for it.
|
|
|
|
Post by luvtorun on Nov 15, 2003 10:15:40 GMT -5
Good Morning Everyone,
First off, thanks to everyone for your honesty. Also, thank you Zoner for your reply to my last message. This is so amazing how it is such a big problem, I've been doing this skin picking for years and didn't realize that it was so big!! It has gotten much worse over the past year or so, along w/my paper flicking(where I end up tearing up the book which I start on the corners). This morning I have been once again tearing at my scabs, I read how someone talked about the scars healing on top so it is raised. That happened to me for the first time a year or so ago, I didn't understand why it wouldn't go away. This morning I was so determined that I actually took a knife to dig out a piece of skin, I did end up putting it down but there are so many times that I want to just get it off whatever it takes!!
I am all for going onto Oprah or any of the other talk shows, people just don't realize how serious this is. I have felt the embarassment of having blood dripping down from my body and not having anything to wipe it up. Lately I have these large sores(that started out very small by the way) and I tear off the top, they start to ooze w/some clear liquid. I notice that everyone talks of picking at their faces primarily, that is one thing that I don't really do. That's not to say if I have a pimple that I won't pick at it, it's just that the majority of my scabs are on my legs and arms. I can just glance at my arms and legs and see about 10 open scabs along w/a bunch of scars. The scary thing is that people think that I have it all together!!
As for the working out, I myself believe that it does help to relieve anxiety but it is yet another one of my addictions. I just don't know how to do this thing called life!! On that note, I am going to close now and go to the gym. Anyone else feel free to respond to my posts, either on here on my other e-mail of teakin30@excite.com. I just am really reaching out I guess, I hope that you guys don't mind. I do appreciate you listening, have a great day!
Tina
|
|
