Post by theta on Nov 12, 2003 8:50:16 GMT -5
lately I was thinking about what actually started me picking at my legs/feet, and after a while I realised that I have actually been having these types of behaviours for basically my WHOLE LIFE!
for example:
age 4 - I remember my dad getting me in trouble for picking my nose (disgusting I know) until it bled.
age 5 - I was a clumsy kid, and so often had scraped knees, which would not heal because I picked at them so much (again, I remember this one because I remember my parents getting at me about it).
age 7 - peeled the skin around my fingernails, sometimes until it bled.
age 10 - compulsively scratched and picked at my head.
age 18 - finally stopped scratching my scalp, but began peeling the soles of my feet.
age 19 - stopped peeling, but moved on to scratching and picking at my legs and feet.
And here I am at age 21, trying to stop destroying my legs, but finding myself picking more and more at my scalp again.
The question I have is: has anyone else tried to stop and just gone on to something else? Because this is what I seem to have been doing- picking at myself in some way, only changing the site or method, but never really stopping. I find it really distressing.
It makes me wonder if it is possible for me to stop, and why does the behaviour keep changing form every time I think I've beaten it?
*sigh*....
for example:
age 4 - I remember my dad getting me in trouble for picking my nose (disgusting I know) until it bled.
age 5 - I was a clumsy kid, and so often had scraped knees, which would not heal because I picked at them so much (again, I remember this one because I remember my parents getting at me about it).
age 7 - peeled the skin around my fingernails, sometimes until it bled.
age 10 - compulsively scratched and picked at my head.
age 18 - finally stopped scratching my scalp, but began peeling the soles of my feet.
age 19 - stopped peeling, but moved on to scratching and picking at my legs and feet.
And here I am at age 21, trying to stop destroying my legs, but finding myself picking more and more at my scalp again.
The question I have is: has anyone else tried to stop and just gone on to something else? Because this is what I seem to have been doing- picking at myself in some way, only changing the site or method, but never really stopping. I find it really distressing.
It makes me wonder if it is possible for me to stop, and why does the behaviour keep changing form every time I think I've beaten it?
*sigh*....
, that was the funniest thing i've heard all day!!! i am giggling out loud in the middle of a super quiet library ;D... one day, when my brain will allow itself to overcome the trauma and actually recognize a similarly humiliating occurence during my childhood , i'll tell you a story ;D...
.