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Post by anon,irresp. on Nov 10, 2003 21:02:08 GMT -5
hi, i like posting here, i guess instead of always adding new threads.
i was thinking about using a thread to write about my progress with zt.
its 8:54 on monday:
i don't work, so that is why i have the time to stay at home and hide and wallow. even when i do work, i have been working perdiem, which means they basically call you and give you shifts. have gone to work, school...with huge scabs.
o so its 8:45: i am now feeling very sad, crying.
i touched the wound on my l cheek. at least the one on my temple is intact. i now put a bandain on my l cheek. it started of course in the bathroom. i drank water so went to the toilet, i was thinking postive thoughts, but all of a sudden i looked close, and saw inflamation, i thought there was still infection (you know the crazy thoughts we use to rationalize our thoughts) so i squeezed. i made it wider. i think its still relatively superficial, but wide. so i hope it heals fast with the bandaid.
--i will probably have to postpone the physical exam.
--i am postponing other things. my life scuks, and i make it suck.
ok continuing attempt at zt. time will heal. and my skin is god's domain...
we have the power to stop all this. remember some of the few who have. and lets join them.
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Post by anon,irresp. on Nov 10, 2003 21:12:08 GMT -5
i'm on a roll, a negative one. i went to the toilet again.
i retouched the one on my chin.
ok no more madness
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Zoner
New Member
Posts: 46
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Post by Zoner on Nov 10, 2003 21:37:30 GMT -5
Anon, I'm going to stay on for a few more hours and then all day tomorrow (yes, i'm going to slack at work). I'll keep checking your posts and I want to be there to support you. You sound so frustrated and depressed. But you can stop. I can stop. I haven't ever been sucessfull, but I tried the pact today and it lessened and I felt so positive about it. I want you to feel positive too. Don't get too hard on yourself when you pick. If you do, you'll only pick more. let yourself slip up, but push yourself to avoid it. who am I to talk? I've never been able to stop and I do exactly what you do. But today I felt good. Use me as your support. Whenever you get the urge- post damnit- post! Know that I'm around and will read it. What's that James Taylor song- ...if you're down and troubled, and you need a helping hand, and nothing, oh nothing is going right..... (I'm assuming you're older and know that song, but If not- just forget it!!!  ha ha) |
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Post by Snout63 on Nov 10, 2003 22:49:47 GMT -5
We've all been there, but please, take Zoner's advice and POST, DON'T PICK. Even if it's just rambling thoughts that make no sense. We're here!
You CAN do this!
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Post by anon,irresp. on Nov 10, 2003 22:55:51 GMT -5
thank you zoner and snout63.
thanks for encouraging to post. i ssometimes feel bad if i write too much. but i guess its better. maybe i should type befoere i go into the bathroom or know will need to look in the mirror.
again i sat in front of my room mirror and touched the one on my temple.
its very depressing cause i have interviws, job offer, but i am doing this and sacrificing what my future job will be.
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Zoner
New Member
Posts: 46
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Post by Zoner on Nov 11, 2003 11:18:18 GMT -5
anon- try overit's mantra
"let yourself heal"
Look at that scab- take a deep breath in and out and tell yourself- "let yourself heal"
I know how bad looking at those big scabs can make you feel (believe me, I have some pretty big and nasty ones on my face) And no matter how good we think we are with our makeup, nothing covers a scab. Then you feel like you have to pick them to get the scab off- but then you bleed again and rescab, and eventually scar. I even pick at it after I take off the scab to see if there's still something in there. that only damages the tissue more.
look at it and let yourself heal.
And of course post all you want! If people aren't into, they just won't read it. No one here will get mad. For me, reading posts helps me just as much as writing- so I need your posts as much as you need to write them!
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Post by Canuck on Nov 11, 2003 15:49:36 GMT -5
Good luck to you, Anon! Posting my picking triumphs/failures in a public space (I use an online journal) has really helped me improve my picking. It helps that I am being accountable to people other than myself (I don't speak with my family/friends about my picking) -- I feel almost as though I'm doing it as much for all of you (especially those who read my journal) as I am doing it for myself. Since it is so similar to what I do, I hope that this posting technique helps you out as much as it has helped me out.
Keep your head up. You're here at this board, you're making an effort, you're making progress.
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Post by Carree on Nov 11, 2003 16:09:02 GMT -5
Canuck-
Your journal is wonderful, I am seriously thinking about creating one for myself.
Carree
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Post by Canuck on Nov 11, 2003 18:50:47 GMT -5
Canuck- Your journal is wonderful, I am seriously thinking about creating one for myself. Carree Oh, definitely consider it. I feel like it's helping a lot -- with picking, and with other stuff, too. There's a way, through the "friends" option at blurty.com (if we all put our journals there) for all of us to be linked together (so, if I had you, CuseFan, Heather and RabbitMoon on my friends list, I could just click on "friends" and read everyone's recent updates instead of having to visit each individual journal). Just an idea, I guess.  |
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Post by anon,irresp. on Nov 11, 2003 23:56:13 GMT -5
by the way thaks all for the support
we all need it
i will look into the journal stuff
--i look at acne sites also,,,,they hae cysts....scars...sot its normal for some people to have scars...at least that explains the face...
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FarmGirl
Junior Member
Poop Happens.
Posts: 70
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Post by FarmGirl on Nov 12, 2003 8:26:16 GMT -5
Hi Anon! One thing that I would to do "hide" or lessen the appearance of my red and inflammed picking sites on my face, was to put a cold, wet washcloth with some ice in it right on my face. Cold dramatically reduces swelling and redness and generally makes skin feel instantly better. I highly recommend it and its a wonderful destressor. Just don't put any ice DIRECTLY on your skin or else you could get frostbite! Don't use a dry washcloth either--it just won't work until the ice melts. The cool, moist action works much better on reducing swelling and redness. Stop beating yourself up over this...it's okay. Your beautiful |
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Post by anon,irresp. on Nov 12, 2003 22:10:50 GMT -5
thanks farmgirl, that is good info
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Impulse Control Disorders
Intermittent Explosive Disorder - There is often an underlying personality disorder that accompanies a disorder called Intermittent Explosive Disorder which is, itself, considered a disorder of impulse. Such individuals are prone to aggressive outbursts when under stress. They may perceive the stress as threat, frustration, insult, vulnerability or any combination of the above. Some of these individual have unusual EEG (brain) wave patterns or changes in brain chemistry. There may also be "soft" neurological findings, but the disorder is considered to arise from poor control of impulse when needs or demands are not met. As the individual accumulates a series of experiences in which such behaviors are tolerated, often beginning early in life, the behavior continues. The threat to individuals and property can be substantial. There are those for which this pattern of behavior suddenly emerges. The person is often upset, guilt-laden and remorseful after the rage filled episode even though there may be a sense of relief after the aggresive outburst.
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Post by anon irresp on Dec 15, 2003 20:23:45 GMT -5
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ha ha)
