My name is Kathy and I pick my face.

[FarmGirl]

I work at home as a transcriptionist and today I don't have much work to do. For me that's a bad thing because it leaves my fingers idle.

I decided to do a search on the net about face picking to see if there was even such a thing and *poof* there were dozens of hits! I had no idea it was even a legitimate issue--I just thought I was (am) neurotic.

Am I reassured that there are more people like me out there? Yes and no. There's no one HERE to stop me from doing it. No one who I can talk to or confide in. I'm home alone all day, in the middle of the woods with no vehicle at my disposal to just "get away" with. I've lived in this area for only a year and have no friends or family within a 400 mile radius.

My life should be stress free, but obviously it isn't. I guess I'm just incredibly lonely but I've always been a recluse and if I ever do find myself in a crowd, I can't wait to get out of it. I've got myself a great hobby farm with a couple of horses, a pet pig, cat, dog, plants, and all in all life hasn't been better.

I guess it's a force of habit now...spending hours in front of the mirror "expressing" pores to see what comes out of them. Frankly I find it fascinating....extracting things from my pores, but because no one's here to see me and I don't have to go out into the world to see anyone, there's no stopping me. As long as I discontinue picking several hours prior to the husband coming home and applying an ice pack and some makeup to my face, he has no clue.

Yes I feel bad after but I've been doing it since I was about 16 and now I'm 30. My doc put me on an antianxiety medication, which helped at first, but I've been back at it again. Oye vey. I live in Maine where winters are very long and I can't get outside as much to keep myself busy, so I'll be scoping out this site for lots of support.

Sorry to babble so much. I type for a living so to me it goes fast. If you took time to read this, thank you. I look forward to reading more and trying to learn as much as I can about my problem.

Sincerely,
Kathy (aka FarmGirl)

[Iceman]

Glad you're here Kathy. I too was shocked recently when i typed skin picking into a search engine and found this site among others. I totally thought i was the only one crazy enough to spend hours picking my face. So take heart, you're not alone. At least you're not the only male on here, like me Just a thought but hiding this problem from your husband is not a good idea. By being able to hide it from him, it just perpetuates the problem and you feel like you can get away with it w/o consequences. NO WAY you say, well if you can't share it with him at this time, then share your burdens with the members of this board as everyone i've run into here is so great and so supportive.

[firegirl]

welcome, kathy! despite the winters, maine is a beautiful state- what a peaceful place to be! i spent a few months in saco, by kennebunkport and portland, and i have nothing but love for the area. i'm a pennsylvania girl and a loner at heart- sometimes there's nothing better than a long hike through snowy woods, all bundled up with nothing but silence around you... ahh, maine... i'll go back someday!

isn't it amazing that many of us (from posts and im conversations) think that we're all alone in this? i cried when i found this message board- i have always just accepted that my thoughts and behaviour were so bizarre that i must be all alone- it's terrifying.

a few months ago, i was flipping through an old journal- i had been pondering a rene descartes quote about original thought. rene basically said that a person cannot conceive any thought strange enough that it could not have been thought by someone else. it was like a lightbulb turning on- i can't be alone! i did a quick internet search, and poof! here i remain...

the post-ers here are smart, funny, nice, interesting- really good people. i hope you find some peace and comfort in the proof that you are not alone. we've all experienced the hours wasted in front of the mirror, the embarrassment and shame involved with sharing our secret, and many of us have tried the anxiety meds and therapy route. trust that there are people who understand, and keep coming back!

kisses- firegirl

[Stef (Incubabe)]

Welcome! Im sure you'll find tons of support here. Enough support to make up for long, lonely winters. Don't fret, the people here will help you out for sure. I suggest you look into our ZT. We just finished up a month of "Zero Tolerance", meaning no picking what-so-ever. Everyone had varying results. I myself cut my picking nearly in half. So, it helps a lot and it helps to know there are others struggling along with you. It is nice to know that there are others out there. It makes you feel less alone but at the same time, more alone. I think if I ever found someone close by that picked, they would be my best friend. LOL. Take care and try to tell your husband. If you want to stop, you'll need the support.

[FarmGirl]

Thank you for the warm welcome!

I took someone's advice last night and washed up before bed with only a teeny nightlight on in the bathroom. Who would've thought such a small thing would reduce/eliminate my need to pick?!

My goal today is to stay out of the bathroom completely except for doing the thing bathrooms were designed for in the first place

I do feel a little better already knowing that I'm not alone and although I don't know any of you (yet) I've already been thinking about you all constantly since I found this board yesterday!

I am a HUGE fan of the TV show "ER" and I remember an episode where a therapist lady was treating people for OCD-type behaviors and she had them put a rubber band around their wrist. Whenever they were doing something related to their OCD she would tell them to "SNAP IT!" The theory being that the snapping of the elastic on the wrist hurt (kind of like the person here who uses ice cubes in the hand) and temporarily brought focus back to the patient. I looked around the house and I can't find 1 elastic

Thank you all again and I hope everyone has a good day today!

P.S. Firegirl, it snowed a little yesterday and air is heavy with that woodstove smell this morning--just a perfect November day so far! Yeah, Maine is pretty great sometimes

[FarmGirl]

Good morning!

Well, this morning while my husband and I were warming up in front of the woodstove having our coffee, I did it. I told him point blank about my face picking problem.

I was nervous but when I get nervous I get stoic at the same time...no expression or emotion. He just looked at me and said, "Hmmm." I told him I spent hours during the day in front of the mirror poking and prodding my face. He said he honestly had no idea. He just thought it was acne and never said anything to me because it wasn't an issue to him.

Later on this morning he asked, "Do you REALLY spend hours a day doing this?" I told him yes, I REALLY am that neurotic. He gave me a big hug and said he'd help me however he could and asked me if I wanted counseling. I told him I wasn't quite ready for that step yet and that the moral support from him lifted a huge burdon already.

I told him about this board and that if I get the urge to pick during the day, I'd run right to the computer and get on this site and take it from there.

It's gonna be an interesting ride, I can tell already

Thanks again for listening to my babble!

[totalchaos]

Kathy, that's great that your husband is so supportive!!

Isn't that the darndest thing about the nightlight in the bathroom? I learned that here, and that's been the single most effective thing that keeps me from (or at least greatly reduces) my picking!

One day at a time - keep strong!! You've got many friends and supporters here!

[firegirl]

hehe, does your husband have a brother? maybe a single brother ?

seriously, i'm so proud that you got the nerve to tell him- and i'm ecstatic that he's so supportive. having your best friend there to help you- especially when you're so isolated- has got to be a huge comfort. isn't it a relief to have that secret off your shoulders?

wowee- that's awesome news! congratulations!

[FarmGirl]

Wow, you guys are AMAZINGLY nice!

Thank you so much for the support...it is much appreciated!

Luc (my husband) is just wonderful, although he does have his moments We've been through much worse together, which tends to make this problem of mine seem so piddly. He really is my best friend.

Firegirl, he doesn't have a brother, just a couple of really MEAN sisters who are both currently divorced. If you "swing that way" I can certainly hook you up

And yeah, keeping the lights off/low in the bathroom so far has been a HUGE help! I'm one of those people who has to see what she's picking in the mirror. No picking yesterday or today, but work has kept my fingers busy so far. It's on those slow days that I trip up.

Take care everyone. I'll be keeping an eye on ya'll!

[disjecti membra]

Congratulations. It's great to hear that you're doing better FarmGirl!

Just reading that "lights low" idea... I thought I'd add.

In my bathroom I have a 'heat light' for drying off. It's really just a red bulb. I've found that if I leave only the red light on, it makes really fine detail tough to see.
It makes skin tone appear more smooth than perhaps it really is.
This helps work for me to prevent the initial 'close-up inspection' that yields the lengthly picking session.

Hope it helps.

-a

[Iceman]

Hello Farmgirl, so happy to hear you told your husband. I've read alot of your recent posts and you sound very upbeat so i think between your husband and this support board you've found some accountablitly among other things. You had alot of courage to tell him your problem and i'm so thankful he's a solid guy. I remember when i told a former g/f, how unbelievably embarrassed and ashamed i was. She took it well and that was such a relief but unfortunately she wasn't very good in the support dept. and later bailed. Anyway sounds like things are going in the right direction so congrats!!

[firegirl]

hahaha farmgirl;D

oooh, just in time for christmas: aggressive, newly single, experienced women- SISTERS, no less!

i'll have to decline the hook-up, though- i don't like mean people.





and also because i'm pretty sure that i still like boys.

but thanks for the offer!


i hope everything is going well for you and your family, farmgirl... congratulations, again!