Newbie, peeking in...

[scarface]

Hi everyone,

I've been reading through threads here and I'm just crying, to have found this place. There are a few other messageboards I've seen, but this one seems to have a special something that is really touching.

I'm a 29 year old female who has been been compulsively picking for nearly 10 years now. I've always had OCD-like tendencies and did some picking, but it really became an everyday problem after I recovered from an eating disorder.

I pick all day, every day. I try to live some sort of life between trips to the bathroom for alcohol, neosporin and bandaids. The picking, especially on my face, causes me a great amount of anxiety and embarrassment. I'm not vain, but when my face is bad I can't leave the house or even go downstairs to get the mail. I feel like everyone is looking at me and thinking how gross I look.

I've been working closely with a great therapist and med doctor, but nothing has helped much so far. Wearing gloves, meditation, hypnosis, keeping a journal, biofeedback, various meds... I already have tried many SSRI's to treat my depression, and none of them did a thing for the picking.

It is so amazing to come here and register and see ALL these people who are suffering the same shame and frustration I am, it brings tears not just of relief, but of sadness that so many people are suffering with this too. And any sort of cure or effective treatment seems to be too long in the pipeline. It's very frustrating and gives one a sense of hopelessness.

Thank you for being here, thank you to the owner of this site. I hope I can be supportive and we can all help each other to live with this and maybe find a way out. Love and peace to all.

[Canuck]

Scarface,

It's great to read a post like yours after being away from this board for quite a few days (went on a vacation). It was the first post that I read -- and it instantly reminded me about how much I love this place. This board, I sincerely hope, is the missing piece to solving the puzzle that is quitting picking.

"I feel like everyone is looking at me and thinking how gross I look." I feel this way a lot, too, but the logical side of me insists that it's rubbish. We all look at our skin, and everyone else's, through a magnifying glass. To most everyone else, skin is just a part of the person. Skin isn't THE person.

[scarface replying]

"I feel like everyone is looking at me and thinking how gross I look." I feel this way a lot, too, but the logical side of me insists that it's rubbish. We all look at our skin, and everyone else's, through a magnifying glass. To most everyone else, skin is just a part of the person. Skin isn't THE person.

Thank you... it really can be a war between the logical mind and the anxiety. The part of me that feels so conspicuous doesn't want to listen to logic!

Thank you for the welcome, and from the things you said in your reply, I can tell this place really is special.

[scarface]

sorry, the above was me - wasn't logged in!

[Iceman]

Great to have you here. I just stumbled upon this board only a few short weeks ago. Just knowing we're not alone is help in itself. I've been picking for many years as well and your message really hit home. It feels like i spend my whole life in the bathroom. There's been so many times i wanted to just give up and say no more to everything. But i keep plugging away b/c i think we all have a purpose here on earth and it's not to spend our lives picking. If life was meaningless then we wouldn't have any hope, but your life does have meaning and therefore you do have hope. Cling to that rock and forge ahead.