Post by glowing on Nov 2, 2003 22:41:14 GMT -5
Hello. 
I've been to this site a few times but I've never posted anything...probably mostly due to shame, admitting i have a problem, etc. I don't know how today is any different than all the other times I've told myself I'm going to stop picking at my face, but I thought maybe an extra boost would be to openly talk about it - even if it's only to people I don't know (because I'm crying already and I can't imagine the embarrassment of telling people I do know).
I started picking in University and it got progressively worse over the years. I would pick during the two extremes: stress and boredom. My mom would notice how long I spent in front of the bathroom mirror and would just say "don't do that," but it was never commented on further.
I moved across the country about a year and a half ago and my problem just exploded. It was probably the stress of living in a new city where I didn't know anyone and moving away from home for the first time, but ever since then, my face picking has become a nightly ritual. I've come to associate living here with constant skin picking and it really hurts when I think that all the people i've met here have never really seen me with "good skin".
What's even worse is that i HAD beautiful skin all through my teenage years. I had friends asking what products I used and that's what i chose the name "glowing" because I USED to have that. But of course, from own stupidity I've decided to ruin that continuously. I've also noticed the accompanying drop in self esteem because I feel awful about the way my skin looks. And I know that nothing drops my self-esteem faster and causes me to avoid eye contact more than having picked at my skin the evening before.
I see people walking around with beautiful skin and I've tried to tell myself that i'll bet anything that they don't pick their skin to get it to look so great. I've tried a number of little self-help mantras but they always only work for a little while...and then I just tune them out and go back to doing what has become my safety net whenever I feel upset or stressed or lonely...our way of numbing ourselves from feeling that pain even if we consciously know we'll feel a hell of a lot worse afterwards.
Like all of you, I want to stop. I feel like I've let it take over my life in so many ways (I mean, not going out because my skin looks disgusting), and also how I feel about myself has caused changes in the way I act around others. I'm less confident of myself and my abilities. I've noticed these things and I'm aware of them. They say that accepting your problem is one of the first steps, but I know it's a hell of a lot harder than that. Hopefully this board can give me that little extra incentive to keep my hands away from my face.
Thanks for listening.
I've been to this site a few times but I've never posted anything...probably mostly due to shame, admitting i have a problem, etc. I don't know how today is any different than all the other times I've told myself I'm going to stop picking at my face, but I thought maybe an extra boost would be to openly talk about it - even if it's only to people I don't know (because I'm crying already and I can't imagine the embarrassment of telling people I do know).
I started picking in University and it got progressively worse over the years. I would pick during the two extremes: stress and boredom. My mom would notice how long I spent in front of the bathroom mirror and would just say "don't do that," but it was never commented on further.
I moved across the country about a year and a half ago and my problem just exploded. It was probably the stress of living in a new city where I didn't know anyone and moving away from home for the first time, but ever since then, my face picking has become a nightly ritual. I've come to associate living here with constant skin picking and it really hurts when I think that all the people i've met here have never really seen me with "good skin".
What's even worse is that i HAD beautiful skin all through my teenage years. I had friends asking what products I used and that's what i chose the name "glowing" because I USED to have that. But of course, from own stupidity I've decided to ruin that continuously. I've also noticed the accompanying drop in self esteem because I feel awful about the way my skin looks. And I know that nothing drops my self-esteem faster and causes me to avoid eye contact more than having picked at my skin the evening before.
I see people walking around with beautiful skin and I've tried to tell myself that i'll bet anything that they don't pick their skin to get it to look so great. I've tried a number of little self-help mantras but they always only work for a little while...and then I just tune them out and go back to doing what has become my safety net whenever I feel upset or stressed or lonely...our way of numbing ourselves from feeling that pain even if we consciously know we'll feel a hell of a lot worse afterwards.
Like all of you, I want to stop. I feel like I've let it take over my life in so many ways (I mean, not going out because my skin looks disgusting), and also how I feel about myself has caused changes in the way I act around others. I'm less confident of myself and my abilities. I've noticed these things and I'm aware of them. They say that accepting your problem is one of the first steps, but I know it's a hell of a lot harder than that. Hopefully this board can give me that little extra incentive to keep my hands away from my face.
Thanks for listening.
