Where do I go from here?

[Amy]

I didn't have such a great day two. My day one was the first and only day of not picking at all, and I was ready for day two. Then it came, and I didn't do so well. It was not as bad as I would normally have been, but after having such a great day one, I am discouraged. I am seeing a few others starting over after making it so many days, and I felt like well if they can't do it I know I won't be able to. I got scared, and messed up. So where do I go. Do I start over, or move on. I am still new to the zt, and I do want to quit. I love all your support.

[Masha]

I'd say you try to beat your own record. If your record so far is one day, two days would be a victory. I have gone through all that: been actively fighting this for 4 years now (picker for 13 years). After all these efforts I am on 8 days now, and I am trying to beat that. This is a very slow fight be prepared to stick with it for years, unless you want to have a miserable life for ever. It will be worth it even if takes you 5-6 years to beat it. I am hoping that in a year I will be through, because I am being very proactive about it.

[Heather]

It's not about perfection. Eleven days is the longest I've ever gone. That's huge progress. I plan on jumping right back on the horse. No one ever said this was going to be easy. In fact, it's going to be ridiculously hard. But people have beat it, so I know it's possible. And we will beat it too if we don't give up. Just because you've failed a thousand times doesn't mean you're never going to succeed. People who have gotten over this didn't just up and quit on their first try! We can't expect that of ourselves either. We're only human. It's going to be a struggle.
-H

[Amy]

Well, I'm not giving up, and I want to succeed. You are all great. I'm having a good day so far today, no slips. I too was aware of what I was doing yesterday, so today, I'm not going to allow it. I'm just not sure if today will be my day 3 or 1. My husband feels I should start back on one, and like you said try to beat my record of one day.
Keep up the good work.
Amy

[firegirl]

don't feel bad... i started "zt" on monday, and i'm still on day one, as well!

i haven't gone a whole day yet pick-free, but my habit has been drastically reduced. it seems that if i'm concentrating on not picking, even though it's difficult, i can stop myself. but when i'm not thinking about it at all, my fingers wander, and before i know it, i catch myself scratching or picking. when i realize what's happening, i stop, but then i feel terrible (back to day one!)

i'm doing the best i can right now, and i'm just working on taking it one day at a time. just keeping the goal of NO picking on my mind is helping- reinforcement of sorts.

i'm not going to quit trying for zero tolerance, but i'm not going to get hung up on it if i can't make it a whole day perfectly. hopefully i'll have my day one soon!

good luck, amy!

[angelkiss]

Amy,

I have a suggestion...I think everyone here is right about jumping back on the horse. But, I think that if you slip up the first time and you don't know why, then you are bound to slip up the next time, it's just a matter of when.

Here is what I suggest...say you're zt-ing again and on day two, you give in and pick...first of all, don't see it as a failure, see it as a work in progress. Get out a piece of paper and write down what the situation was, what led to the picking session that time. Were you standing too close to the mirror for too long? Were you stressed about an argument and instead of taking it out on the right person, you took it out on yourself? Whatever it was, write it down. Then say, "Tomorrow I will start ZT again. And I know this problem may come up again. Next time it happens, I am going to do this instead of picking."

And this should be a CONCRETE strategy. I mean, have whatever you need available and easy to access. If your strategy is to lift weights and it takes you thirty minutes to get to the gym, this is not a very workable strategy. You need something you can do that very second. Maybe it's lifting free weights that you have near your trigger places (the bathroom, etc.). Or maybe it's as simple as squeezing your hands into fists for thirty seconds, relaxing, and doing it again and again until the urge starts to pass.

Have backup strategies too, if you need them. If squeezing your hands into fists doesn't work, maybe going out for a run will work. Or playing with clay. Playing with the dog. Writing down exactly how you are feeling as you are having the urge. Punching a pillow. Doing a set of pushups. (I always find physical strategies to work best for me, that's why I have a lot of them!) Calling someone who is your "emergency" person who will talk you through those moments when you feel like you absolutely HAVE to pick. Rubbing lotion on your skin. Dancing to music in your room. See what I mean?

Anyway, you'll probably slip up a few times, and that's not bad, that's okay. That's how you will learn what situations need a strategy. Eventually, if you try to ZT this way, I think you will be able to go for much longer periods of time without picking. I have been pick-free for 36 days this way, after 17 straight years of picking.

Good luck,
Angel

[scarreddaisy]

when i get really bummed out after i pick i call up my good friends ben and jerry and they help me through the rocky road...

[angelkiss]

Rocky Road!! That's it, I'm going out right now for a pint of ice cream!

[Amy]

You guys are great. I am close to the end of a pick free day 2, and it's getting harder. The thought of running out to get ice cream brought a smile to my face, and made me laugh. I needed that. Thanks
Angel, if you can go 36 days after 17 years, I know it is possible. It's been 14 years for me, and I think I can finally set a goal,...well, I'll finish out today, and then go for the rest of the week. If I start out small, it won't seem so impossible.
Amy

[CuseFan]

Angel!
SUPER advice. I have yet to have a pick free day, and just keep trying unsuccessfully, obviously! (Maybe I am not quite ready?!?!) BUT today i will try your advice out! Really great! Thanks so much!
Everyone is such an inspiration, I could not even attempt this without you!
-love cuse