Scalp Picking

[Kaitlyn]

I never thought I would meet someone with the most specific OCD as mine! I always pull the coarse hairs off the top of my head, the really coarse ones, pluck them right out I have to! I straighten it out and observe it then get some more! Its the weirdest thing! Just saying, dont think you are so weird because I love picking at things, ESPECIALLY my scalp! Scabs, and when I get dandruff it groses me out but i love picking it and playing with it!!!!

[Guest]

Like others have said, I can't believe such a board exists! I've always felt alone in my compulsion. I know other people might pick at scabs or peel their sunburns sometimes, but I am an obsessive picker and peeler of skin, my own and other people's! I have a compulsive desire to groom people, to pick flakes out of their hair, to straighten their eyebrows, pull lint off their clothes, things like that that. But picking at flaking skin is the most satisfying thing in the world to me. I can't explain why....

It started when I was about 5 years old. I had broken my arm, and after the doctor took the cast off, he had me use a special soap that made the skin on my arms peel. It was so pleasurable for me to peel the skin off. I started picking at the skin around my cuticles too. I would do this at school when I was bored (which was most of the time) and before long my fingers were a bloody mess (just like my father's fingers. He happens to derive pleasure from doing the very same thing to his fingers, which I doubt is a coincidence.)

When I was 12 and my younger brother was an infant with cradle cap, I really liked pulling the flakes out of his hair while our mom was nursing him. I got more insistent about it and actually started picking at his head. His scalp became infected and, needless to say, my mom wouldn't let me touch his head anymore.

After that, I would always hound family members to let me pick at their scalps. None of them have particularly flakey heads so it wasn't too much fun for me, but I would do it nonetheless. One incident that stands out in my mind is when my younger brother shaved his head one summer and then got a terrible sunburn. Multiple layers of the burned skin peeled and I could not keep my hands off his head for a week. It was positively heavenly, and I would go into a trance as I peeled, while he would sit at the computer or in front of the TV, trying to fend me off. Eventually, he would just give in and let me do it, because I was so persistent.

When I started college, I was able to will myself to stop picking at my fingers by reminding myself that the bleeding sores were so unsightly. There was also less down time during which I had to appease my boredom, and therefore less need to pick. That wasn't the end of the picking, though.

When I started dating my fiance (then boyfriend), I noticed that he had a very dry, flakey scalp. It kind of made me salivate with picking lust, but at that time I didn't want to reveal my admittedly very weird habit. However, after we'd been dating a year and moved in together, I guess I became too comfortable around him for my own good, and I decided to gradually introduce the idea of picking at his scalp. I told him how I used to pick at my fingers and liked peeling my sunburns. I said I noticed that he had a dry scalp. I started slowly, first picking out the odd random flake that was visible in his hair. Then I got bolder and started picking at the dead skin that was still on his scalp. And my god, his head was great. The flakes were large and strong, like crumbs. Sometimes I could get away with picking for an hour while he would watch tv, before he would start swatting my hands out of his hair. I would go into a trance while I was picking and lose all track of time.

Eventually, though, my habit, which he thought was "f**ing weird" but which he let me do anyway because I nagged him so much to let me do it, had to come to a stop. His head got infected from my incessant picking and scraping, and I had aggravated his dry skin and made the flaking even worse. He forbade me from touching his head again and would get very angry if I put my hand near his scalp. And besides, he said, "This s**t is weird and I don't want it to continue indefinitely." Unfortunately, the temptation is still there when I think about how nice his head was, but I have to control myself for his sake.

I guess I have no insight. I can't even describe why I find it so pleasurable. But I know that I don't have to here, because other pickers know exactly what I'm talking about.

[smile]

I had a problem with scalp picking that would come and go since I was a teenage for more than 10 years. My brother did it also as a teenager.

I found something that worked for me and I don't pick anymore.

Overnight I used to rub either topical antibiotics or bacitracin on the areas I had a scab, that way I woudn't be able to pick it. If I really had an urge to touch the scab, I would just rub the ointment into it more. After a few days of really slathering on the ointment, all the scabs heal and you don't have anything to pick off. You just have to amke sure you don't create new areas of scab, and if you notice you're starting to pick a new area- just start rubbing the ointement in.

[AZe]

Hello--I just found this site and I was hoping someone could answer a question. I have been picking at a scab on my head for the past 5 months or so, and I recently noticed that it's scarred and the hair in that area is no longer growing in normally. Does anyone know if it will grow back once I leave it alone for a long enough time? I'm pretty concerned that I'll have this small bald spot--I'd really appreciate any responses.

[Embarassed]

Hey everyone...I thought I was the only one...

I started picking my dandruff off when I was in college just because I thought it was interesting(i know...wtf) and I was bored as hell in class. It started getting worse after college, and I have been picking hardcore scabs off my scalp.

I, like many others here, find it pleasurable to pick, especially if it is a big scab. And I HATE feeling bumps on my head so i CANNOT stop. I don't even give the sores time to head once i've ripped the scabs off and even start bleeding at times.

I cannot stop picking these scabs, I don't know why. I was diagnosed with generalized anxiety disorder when i was a junior in college (now i'm 23) and am on 15mg of Lexapro a day. But it wasn't because of the picking. It was because I got so stressed with school, my body image, etc.

I am sooo embarassed of this habit. It is DISGUSTING. I will pick and my fingers will get all bloody from me tearing my scalp and I just disgust myself. But I can't stop. My scalp is constantly sore and there are constant red patches on it because of this hardcore picking I cannot seem to stop.

I'm thinking it has a lot to do with the past year...i've been struggling financially, had a bad break up with my boyfriend, and just have been overall not myself.

If anyone has any insights to how they eased their picking, PLEASE help me! We're all going through this together so let's help each other out! Oh, and witch hazek soothes a sore scalp if you decide you want to try to stop picking...unfortunately for me i never seem to stop..

[picky Nicky]

I too have been picking my scalp for about 10 years. it started at a time of family stress and just contiuned.I have tried coal tar shampoos,hypnosis and self discipline! all to no avail.
A few days ago I started to rub on the jelly from the inside of a piecse of aloe vera plant. I had heard of its properties for burns . Well, much to my amazement, the stuff cools and heals the red red bit that is left after you have removed your "trophy" scab.
Now i havent completely stopped the picking but the gel is so soothing, no more itchy burning and the scabs are becoming smaller already. i am doing i a couple of times a day and will need to get another plant soon.
for the first time in years I am optimistic about beating this.!The desire to pick is decreased when you dont feel that there are unclean scabs just waiting to be removed.
Good luck everyone.

[boston guest]

Hi everyone,

This is so surreal for me. Tonight was the first time I thought to myself to actually Google "scalp picking" to see if there was a 1% chance that I'm not the only one doing this, and I found this forum. To my relief, here you all are. I share in most of the anxiety, embarassment, physical pain, and frustration that you all do. I have never thought to ask my doctor about it. I remember being little and getting haircuts and the stylist would say "ohhh, you have some little scabs, hmmm..." and I felt so judged, so alone. Also got the "stop picking!" from my mom, dad and sister.

Years went on and I continued to pick at my head. Almost every morning I would wake up and actually be excited to see if what i had "dug" into my scalp had formed into a scab, which I would be psyched to pick off. I've also had a history of wanting to see what I'm doing. I like to look at the scabs when I get them out (then just throw away... but a vague memory of "collecting" them on the bathroom sink), and also I hold a small mirror up to a larger one to see the patch that it left. Mostly on the left and right parts of the top of my head where my hair would part. Never elsewhere. I have always been a chronic nailbitter/cuticle over-groomer (in a bad, painful way) and actually came to terms with it- accepting it as part of my personality and that i'd never have nice nails. Not a few weeks later and I stopped. out of the blue. Put some polish on them and just said no. It feels to strange to be typing with some nails, and I consider "long" being 2 weeks growth. Wanting to pick/scan/dig more ofthen on my scalp now that I don't bite my nails. Anyone else do that?

I have always had a compulsion to "groom" others, even strangers... though I never do. Like the one stray hair on the shoulder of the person in the elevator with you. Or the eyebrows of your teacher that need to be plucked, or smoothed out. We aren't monkeys, we can't do this. But once in college I "pushed back" his cuticles in such a tranced-out way that I ended up making them all too far back and cut them and he bled. I felt so awful.

I hope that we can at least understand WHY we do it. I mostly want to know what is happening chemically in my neurotransmitters that I am taking pleasure in physically hurting myself (picking the scabs too soon) and simultaneously feeling both guilty/ashamed AND comforted/ enjoyed being strange in my own way. I'm 23 and don't plan on being married anytime soon, but I fear not being able to do my daily "strange" behaviors with someone in my house during my once-alone time; even if it is my husband- because when I get married I hope someone won't have to love me in spite of this small, strange problem.

Also, I have taken 75mg of Effexor (antidepressent/antianxiety) for 4 years. And been diagnosed with ADHD in the past 6 months, so occasional 15mg of Aderral. Strange- but I guess I never saw the connection with depression, anxiety, and ADHD until I read your entries. Thanks for helping unlock a door of understanding.

Any information you have come across is greatly appreciated.
In Solidarity with you,
-Boston, 23

[annofanomaly]

In about 7th grade, I used to pluck my eyelashes and sometimes pull my hair. I would go into trances and pull them out and look at the folicles. Then it moved on to scalp picking once I got a bald spot and hated it and summarily found dry itchy patches on my scalp. When I'm really zoned out I used to alternate picking at my scalp and biting and ripping my cuticles until they bleed in some vain attempt to make the dead skin "even." I stopped mutilating my cuticles after wearing gloves for a few weeks straight (lucky for me it was winter). But I still pick at my scalp, sometimes even do things to try to make the scabs worse and bigger. I also have compulsions to pick at my boyfriend's skin who has psoriasis. Lucky for me he doesn't mind bc if he doesn't pick it, it starts to crack and bleed. I've been going to a psychiatrist for anxiety lately and am on 225 mg of effexor, but am going to get a second opinion since I have failed to mention this out of embarassment. The anxiety attacks are gone, but my compulsions still are out of control.

Dandruff shampoo, wearing gloves, clipping my nails, wearing hats, and putting my hair in ponytails definitely were failed attempts at stopping.

I am so glad that I found this site. It has encouraged me to talk about this compulsion to my doctor and hopefully discuss ways of breaking the habit.

Its such a mystery to me as to how chemicals in our brain balance in certain ways and our genes are just right for breeding this compulsion.

Will report back after my psychiatric appointment!

[madtown]

I have been reading these posts for a long time, wondering if I would ever come out.....here i am, I have been picking my scalp on and off for years. I also pluck my leg hairs, and pick the scabs that result from plucking. Lovely, I know. My scalp is killing me, from picking the same spots over and over. It hurts to wash my hair. My legs are scarred and often have sores on them, and I haven't worn shorts in years.

I think the hardest part about trying to stop is that it is a constant struggle. I didn't think I was alone in this habit, but I never realized how hard it would be to stop. As cheesy as it may sound, I am trying to take it one minute at a time. Each time I reach for my scalp, I have to tell myself to be gentle, to be nice to myself, to give myself a break. I try giving myself a little scalp massage, instead of trying to rip the scab off again. I have to tell myself that if I rip off the scabs, (which is what I really want to do) I know it will hurt much more, for much longer, it will only be more painful. So the struggle is constant and continues. My only hope is that over time, the conversation with myself gets shorter. I also know that in my stressful life, I often have setbacks, and I have to be gentle with myself when that happens. Again, this is when I have to tell myself how hard this is to stop doing.

Reading what you all have written has helped me. I hope this helps someone else. I have told my therapist, and a couple people close to me, and now i am telling you. This is my road to recovery.

[Embarassed]

I've been trying to do that as well. Telling myself to STOP when my hand reaches my head. It hasn't been as bad the past couple of days, but i still have the urge to do it. I have been steering clear of the scabs I know will be bloody..i know..this is SOOOO PATHETIC. I have actually categorized the scabs into categories..(1(ones that i know will bleed if i pick them, (2) ones that will be a mixture of scab/dead skin( those ones are my favorite), (3) ones that are almost healed (but of course, i ruin that by picking them again). And I have my favorite spots...scabs that I HAVE to pick everyday(some i can go a few days without picking)

I know..i sound PSYCHOTIC!!!

and i tried the aloe thing that someone recommended above...it does soothe, but i still can't deal with not picking the scabs..and aloe smells weird! haha..but still..very good idea..it will heal them faster if you can fight the urge to pick..

[Amey]

I've skin picked all my life and quite frankly never thought of it as too big a deal, but when I was 13 I started scalp picking too and that became a much bigger problem. I picked my scalp for about 18 months before I stopped. I don't know how or why I stopped, it just happened - I assumed I'd grown out of it. I was still picking my skin.

About two months ago however, the scalp picking has come back and now I'm trying to do something about it. I've been thinking about why I do this. I think the skin picking has just become a bad habit that I can't break. A month ago I finally stopped biting my nails, which is a bad habit that I've suffered from for as long as skin picking and which had previously been equally as hard to stop. It wasn't easy quitting that, but I managed and I'm proud of that, so maybe I can overcome the skin picking too.

The scalp picking is different though. It's more than just a bad habit, because it feels good when I'm doing it, even if it does hurt and I'm embarassed and ashamed of it afterwards. I currently have around 15 scabs on my scalp. I manage my own hair rather than going to the hairdressers because nobody knows and I don't want anyone finding out. Quite honestly it makes me feel like a freak and so it's reassuring to see that other people suffer from it too. The things that the other people here are saying as well - it's all so true of me.

I think it's depression that causes the scalp picking for me. When I began for the first time it was during one of the lowest points of my life. In the past few weeks I've also become very depressed, and that was when the scalp picking started again.

I'm on the waiting list to begin counselling sessions, which I've never had before and this is the first time I've seeked professional help in sorting this out. Hopefully it'll work. My worry is what course of action the counsellor might decide to take. I've signed something giving them permission to hospitalise me if they think I'm a danger to my own health, and I'm worried that this might qualify. I also don't want to be prescribed anything for this - I know that medication works for some people but I'm worried that if I stop thanks to medication then when I come off of it, I'll feel like I'm not strong enough to keep from starting again. I'll try medication as a last resort but I want to stop because I'm strong enough to, not because of medication. If it is linked to my depression, as I suspect, then hopefully with the help of therapy I'll become happier and the scalp picking will stop just as a result of that.

AZe - The bald spot issue was one that worried me when the scalp picking started for the first time. Worry not, the hair will grow back if you leave it alone for long enough (or at least, mine did).

[Embarassed]

I hope the counseling works for you. And I know exactly how you feel.

I've been hardcore picking for almost a year now, and its really getting bad. As I said before, I am on meds for my anxiety but they don't do $hit for my scalp picking. I try and try to stop, but i cannot stand those huge scabs i helped form on my head. I can tell my hair is getting thinner, but i don't have to worry about bald spots because my hair is so thick to begin with.

This has been the toughest year of my life, and I think that i will stop picking once and for all if i am in a good place in my life. I am unemployed and finding it VERY difficult to get a job..thus feeling worthless and anxious. The meds help a bit with that, but the picking just doesn't stop.

I am pretty sure I will stop when I feel good about my life. I hope that happens soon.

[Carrie]

This is the first time I have realized there are other people who pick their scalp. I thought it was just another one of my quirky habits.

I am now 32 and started picking my scalp around the age of 11. I remember the first time I picked a scab off my head and how strangly satisfying it felt. The only time I have not picked my scalp in the last 21 years was when I had fake nails for a couple of months. The feeling of picking my scalp with fake nails did not give me the same satisfaction of using my real nails.
I try to stop picking at my head a few weeks before going to get my hair cut because it is embarrassing whey your stylist asks you what happened to your head. I never pick my head in front of others, but as soon as I am alone I start picking my head without even thinking about it. Like many other people who have responded, I almost feel like I am in a trance when I do it. It is relaxing.

None of us should be ashamed of ourselves for this, even if we don't want to tell others because they will think it is bizarre. I have only told one person in my life about this because it is easier not to have to answer questions. How are you supposed to explain to someone why you do it when you are not sure yourself.

I am a nursing student currently in my psych rotation. I recently learned that a large percentage of those with OCD are perfectionists and/or very intelligent people. Any perfectionists out there? There is also a genetic component. I have seen my mother picking her scalp many times over the years, but I don't think she knows I am aware of this.

I am not sure it I will try meds for this but am very interested in others experiances with medication treatments.

[Carrie again]

I am studying psych in nursing school and thought the following info may or may not help people out.

Obsessive compulsive behaviors can stem from trauma to the basal ganglia or cortical connections in the brain. There can be a genetic predisposition and triggers such as stressors or environmental factors can "turn on" the obsessive compulsive behaviors. Currently the meds most used to treat OCD are the SSRI antidepressants (selective seratonin reuptake inhibitors) because of their effects on the basal ganglia and frontal lobe of our brains. OCD is not a result of any medical conditions.

OCD often occurs with other mental disorders such as depression, bipolar, phobias and substance abuse. Many of these are related to a defecit of seratonin, the neurotransmitter involved in mood and normal functions such as sleep.

Some SSRIs that are used for OCD are Prozac, fluvoxamine, Paxil, and Zoloft.

In response to the girl from Boston with the picking obsession, you remind me greatly of a good college friend of mine. She would pluck her eyebrows until there were holes in them. She used to chase her boyfriend down and insist on plucking his toes and chest hairs. We lived in a suite together in college and she spent much of the day in the bathroom plucking things. She also has a compulsion to keep everything in perfect order all the time. She eventually got on one of the SSRIs and it did help. She is now an FBI agent but still a very much Type A personality.

I hope this helps the people that think there is something wrong with them or that they are weird. It is due to our brain activity, NOT to craziness.

[eightonehundred]

hey. im nineteen years old. I remember picking at my head in middle school, before i started biting my nails. i barely remember an incident where a friend asked me why i was always touching my scalp, and i was so embarresed that i completely began controlling myself. i started biting my nails, and i stopped picking.
recently this year, i stopped biting my nails. I had forgotten about my old picking habits until now. the past half year or so ive been picking my head, over and over. every day. when im stressed, driving, working, reading, homework.. all the time..
i know i do it as a nervous habit, but im scared its really a compulsive issue. its really satisfying and relieving, and yet soo disgusting and mortifying.
my father has ocd, hes currently on meds that seem to help him cope emotionally, but he has a huge issue with picking spots on his arms and legs to the point where he now has to wear long sleeves to cover the scars. they seem to be better, but i know it was a strange habit we never really talked about.

i guess what i want to know is if anyone has suffered from this situation, and then recovered.. whether from self-control, meds, or even therapy?

i was also wondering if other people have recognized that they started when they were younger? or older?, and if it has followed them throughout life or not...

thanks for listening i guess. good luck to everyone..