Meditation/Awareness Practice

[Juleah]

Hello Everyone,
The only thing that has ever TRULY helped me is meditation and various awareness practices. I'm wondering who here has experience with these things? At a certain point talking about everything ceases to be helpful, and of course that's where taking action comes in.
I personally can recommend many things to try...if anyone is interested. Besides that I would love to hear about anyone's personal "practice" and how it relates to their compulsions.

This board is not active enough in my opinion, but I think we can help each so much. I hope to start an enlightening conversation here.

Peace, Julie

[juleah]

okay, here's the deal...

i really want to quit picking, thought i do not get the feeling that many of you feel the same. do you, any of you? it seems that many of us are in the "needing to talk phase" which is great. however, i want to do more than talk about quitting-i want to quit!!! does this make sense? sorry if this sounds harse, but it's my life-- it's all of our lives. i just had a death in the family which was a stark reminder that there is no time to lose. so, please if anyone agrees that we have no time to lose and want to quit NOW let me know. maybe we can support each other.

thanks again and please join me in taking your like seriously.

compassion and love, julie

[neenee]

i want to quit too. My arms and back actually hurt right now from picking.

[goodgollymsmolly]

neenee said:

i want to quit too. My arms and back actually hurt right now from picking.

I've started to pick in the last 1 1/2 years. I'm in a new job with lots of responsibility. I'm 64 now but never did it before. I do my ears, shoulders, stomache and legs. Some times I hurt too-- I hide it from people. Only a very few know anything. Don't know what to do. I suppose awareness can help in the beginning I always think I'll stop and then I start again. When people know they worry about me and make me think how horrible it is.
I go to a dr. but so far we haven't worked on it , I suppose. What to do? Why do I do this? It is ugly for sure.

[Dee13]

Finding ways to relieve stress or distract myself seems to help. Exercise, meditation, relaxation and being good to myself. Being productive, crafts and volunteering. Reflecting using a diary about all that is good and the progress that you have made, forgiving yourself and others and moving on. When I can change my environment like a vacation or a trip also can help.

[Bo]

I had just posted on another thread about how I beleive awareness techniques can be really helpful so was interested when I read your post.

Apologies if anyone has read my other post as I am now repeating myself, however aside from picking I have also suffered, for many many years, from bulimia. Just over a year ago I conquered that demon. I went to a support group for this, very difficult but hugely effective, and one of the best things I learnt there were awareness techniques. In the beginning I might have still thrown up for instance, but I made myself aware of the whole process and what my emotional state was throughout this. Ie, I feel the urge, how does it feel? What caused this urge? How do I feel if I resist it, even if for a minute? How do I feel if I do it? How do I feel afterwards?

It is difficult to explain as it is pesonal and may differ for everyone however from what I understand this is a common therapy solution. What was good for me is that it empowered me. Previously, as with the picking, I was just on emotional auto-pilot with the affliction. I didn't think about it, I just reverted to habit and did it and felt the guilt, shame and worthlessnes afterwards - exactly the same as my picking.

Increasing my awareness (and it gets easier over time to be aware) empowered me because I started to understand what was going on with my head and body rather than just have it control me. Once I could understand I could make rational choices, little steps and hey, if I did succumb it wasn't the end of the world. I didn't feel so guilty, I just said 'okay, so I felt this way, how do I avoid feeling this way in the future' - or something that that effect.

At the moment my picking is a demon and an oppressive weight on my sense of self, however I know (although it has taken me a while to wake up to this that awareness will help immensely. I will be in control and I will make decisions for myself.

Of course, all of this is my personal experience but I do believe firmly in it and it has been nice to be reminded of what I can do for myself.

It will of course take time, but I know with my bulimia it just got easier and easier and now I rarely think about it. Every now and then I succumb - picking also may never entirely go away - however I have the tools to deal with it and believe in my ability to deal with it.

I have rambled on for an awfully long time - thanks if you made it to the end of this. Just remember, it won't happen overnight, but it will happen

[Dee13]

Just the other day I realized that the endorphins released by pain or some other physical action could be part of our addiction to our odd habits.

I knew it existed through reading but never connected with my own actions. Many of you may of figured out this before but it was the first time for me.

[cjsmama]

Hi...I've always been really interested in Meditating because I thought it might help me, but I'm not sure how or where to start. I was wondering if you could give me a few pointers. It seems that I pick when I am tense, worried and/or stressed out. Picking is (I guess) how I self-soothe. My mind runs wild because I worry, worry, worry but then I get more stressed out after I pick! What do you think I should start doing as far as meditation goes?
Thanks!

[juleah]

I am not sure but think it was Christiane Northrup who said (not verbatim) "you have to feel it, to heal it". In my experience I have discovered I must do this. Our intense feelings arise because they want to be expressed, and it is perfectly natural. Unfortunately, because it is so painful we push the feelings away and they are never released. A classic metaphor is that of holding beach balls under water. Imagine each of your repressed emotions is a beach ball and you are expending all you energy holding them down. What happens when you let go? Well, the pop up, and rapidly! They want to. They need to go away. What we are scared of is feeling the feelings anyway, but when we get freaked out we are ALREADY feeling those very feelings we are so scared of. Do you see? Basically we don't give ourselves enough credit. We are capable of feeling so much and releasing those feelings in a healthy manner.

Now as far as meditation and awareness practice goes...it can look like many things. It doesn't have to be actual sitting practice to be helpful, it depends on you. For me, helpful awareness practices have been: meditation & yoga, writing, rock climbing, dancing, tai chi, singing, and pilates. All of these things help me stay one-pointed and centered; which means my attention is focused on one thing at a time. It is true that we have to slow down and pay uber-close attention to what we are doing. We have to be vigilant, otherwise we do revert to auto-pilot mode. And we you really decide to tackle this thing you do revert, that's also part of the process--over time you just do it less and less as awareness grows.

I think books on this topic are helpful, but meeting with an actual live person is better. It's like jumping into the fire because we can be so reclusive, we have to face ourselves and sometimes we may do that by facing others. To find a meditation instructor you may begin with a simple 'google' search. Also, there are many Shambhala centers worldwide and I know they offer meditation instruction. Give it a try if you have not before. And good luck, this journey is painful and challenging but well worth the effort.

May we all enjoy health and happiness, Jules

[Walelasca]

There is a very simple yet profound meditation in just reconnecting to nature. It is called Ecopsychology.

Reconnecting to nature can be as simple as pulling your eyes away from the intensity of picking whatever and focusing on something alive in nature.

IE. Shift your eye focus to a plant leaf/blossom in your room
- Look out the window at something in the distance like a tree, mountain or bird. This relaxes the eye muscles etc and changes/widens your focus. It helps interrupt the picking.
- Go out in the backyard and focus on a blade of grass..whatever catches your attention.
Be sure to notice the details of what is attracting your focus onto a live/natural thing.
Shift between intense focus on a blade of grass to focusing on the hills in the distance

I find this takes me out of the skin picking trance if I get caught up in its time warp.

Sometimes I've had to continually do this to break the intensity of picking and the upset of what I am doing to myself!

For more info and an experience on line go to the following link
Remember, the tasks suggested will prompt you to go outside or use whatever is in your living environment.
I found this site back in 1999.
www.ecopsych.com/

[HectorsGirl]

@walelasca: That sounds like a good idea. I find that if I am starting to "zone" and scratch at myself, if my cat comes into the room and meows I stop and pick her up. She engages me, and giving her affection takes away from my own critical processes. Thanks for the link. I'll have to check that out.

[juleah]

I wanted to offer these links. I have found these women enormously helpful. Particulary, the books: Start Where You Are and There is Nothing Wrong with You. Maybe you will find them helpful, too.

Peace, Jules

www.cherihuber.com/
www.shambhala.org/teachers/pema/

[MeMyselfandI]

First of all let me just tell you I love the fact that I have found this site!!! Woo hoo!! cjsmama: I also pick when I'm worried and stressed out. I have been a picker for almost 15years now, and have gotten to the point where I sought my own help. My doctor had noticed the picking for a couple years, but the first step in helping yourself is ASKING for help. She finally referred me to a psychologist/psychiatrist for a slight case of OCD and an anxiety disorder (hince the picking when I'm worried).

In therapy we do a relaxation technique which has really helped the anxiety, however, it is only one part to stop picking. I also need to keep my hands busy by doing anything but picking. I love scrapbooking, but even that gets my anxiety going everyone once an awhile. This will never go away, but at least there are ways of helping subside the urge to pick. I have not worn a tshirt or tank top outside the house in almost 10 years. Here is hoping for a non sweatshirt summer!!! (well more realistic, next summer) =)