Post by Lauren on Dec 13, 2003 23:06:30 GMT -5
Before I start, I want to say how great it feels to know that there are other people like me; people who pick, and people who understand why it is so difficult to stop. Anyway, I am writing basically to vent, like many of you have. The subject says all of my feelings. I feel hopeless: I have tried so hard to stop, whether I have put bandages on all of my fingers or smothered them in lotion or painted my nails with bitter tasting polish. I have gone for a few days without picking. Yet of course, it's a cycle, and I just start picking again. And then it will seem like it will get better, and my hope starts to build, but it all goes downhill again. Thus making me sad and angry. 
Sad because I feel disgusting, for my fingers look so ugly, and it makes me feel ugly. Angry because I cannot stop. And my mother does not understand why I cannot stop. I know she loves me, and that's why she gets angry, because she does not like seeing me like this. But you all understand. And I just go on picking, sometimes not even conscious of it, which scares me a lot. And then people at school ask me, "What happend to your fingers?" And of course, I do not know what to tell them. Those people bother..why can't they just mind their own business? My fingers are perpetually red and swollen because of what I do to them. Do any of you know of anything I can put on them besides neosporin to reduce the redness and swelling? Or just anything to make my fingers look better? Because I want to be better, I want to look better, I want to become a better person. I have been picking since I was a little girl, and now I'm a teenager, and I do not want to continue for the rest of my life. Thank you all so much for listening. Any advice you have that I have asked for, or just some advice on how to stop picking that might work, please tell me. You all are wonderful and sincere, and I am glad that we have all found each other, and I hope that soon we all win this battle.
Sad because I feel disgusting, for my fingers look so ugly, and it makes me feel ugly. Angry because I cannot stop. And my mother does not understand why I cannot stop. I know she loves me, and that's why she gets angry, because she does not like seeing me like this. But you all understand. And I just go on picking, sometimes not even conscious of it, which scares me a lot. And then people at school ask me, "What happend to your fingers?" And of course, I do not know what to tell them. Those people bother..why can't they just mind their own business? My fingers are perpetually red and swollen because of what I do to them. Do any of you know of anything I can put on them besides neosporin to reduce the redness and swelling? Or just anything to make my fingers look better? Because I want to be better, I want to look better, I want to become a better person. I have been picking since I was a little girl, and now I'm a teenager, and I do not want to continue for the rest of my life. Thank you all so much for listening. Any advice you have that I have asked for, or just some advice on how to stop picking that might work, please tell me. You all are wonderful and sincere, and I am glad that we have all found each other, and I hope that soon we all win this battle.