building a defensive arsenal...

[downtimeheals]

We all need a special first aid/prevention kit. My usual routine involves Proactiv cleanser every night (it's slightly grainy for exfoliating but NOT too rough) and and the repairing lotion if my face needs to be "turned around", tea tree oil on Q-tips for spots/cuts/scabs/etc. often followed by those tiny round band-aids to provide a spot-sized shield against my prying fingertips, and a mud-type mask if serious surface area needs hiding/protecting from myself (try Queen Helene Mint Juleppe--you can leave it on all night if you need to.) Also, Aubrey Organics makes a great product called Amino Derm Gel which sort of "freeze-dries" onto the skin, forming a cool gel shield that soaks up any oiliness for a while, rendering the texture of your skin less pickable, and it's virtually invisible. And Jason brand body powders smell and feel great all over the body, forming a silky smooth protective coating anywhere you need it. I prefer Jason's chamomile powder, which is made from rice powder (no scary talc to breathe.)

I've also worn those exfoliating gloves in the shower when I didn't trust myself to wash without feeling for things to pick at; using a sponge or brush can help in the same way. Anything to keep your fingertips/nails from exploring in the wrong way.

Keep your nails very short--or pretty and painted if that'll deter you (I hear fake works well too.)

Find satisfying tactile substitutes (the way smokers chew gum and suck lollipops for the so-called oral fixation) such as peeling citrus fruit, cracking/picking nuts out of the shell, popping bubble wrap, peeling tape or glue or wax...in other words, see if you can find non-destructive ways to PICK! Your skin must NOT be the default option. For some it may help to pluck whiskers/eyebrows instead of picking--for others this may be too close to picking to be an acceptable substitute, as it involves close-in-the-mirror time which may lead down the wrong road.

If you find yourself touching your skin, try not to panic...instead of feeling for "irregularities," try massage! Knead and rub as opposed to squeezing and scratching. Caress, don't aggress.

And remember, always remember...no-one else sees your skin the way you do, because you are IN your skin. And you can FEEL everything. So when you picture your "ouchies", you're feeling them too. Feeling them with your fingers, feeling them with the nerves in your skin itself, and LOOKING for them with your eyes. Talk about magnification! Everyone else is on the outside, not caring NEARLY as much about how your skin looks, not knowing nearly as much about how your skin FEELS as you do. So give it a rest.

Choose to cover it (I dot Cover Girl wand-style concealer on spots with my fingertips and then finish with Body Shop tea tree oil pressed powder) or bare the worst--whatever helps you feel NORMAL about your skin when your hands are not touching it and then try to LET IT GO. Grit your teeth and go on not touching it. Whoops...you've started picking again without even realizing it? Go wash yourself with a sweet-smelling glycerine soap, or whatever your favorite gentle cleanser is, and start all over again...but remember, to break the cycle of aggression and destruction, let some of the strategy become about pampering. Let some of it be nourishing and beautifying, even if at first it's hard not to feel that it's just to counteract the d*mn
damage.

Above all else, know that ANY moment not spent picking (no matter how brief and few and far between sometimes) is a moment of healing. You only need to do nothing

[healthehealer]

I just found this site today and I feel as though i should say thank you. I have already started things you suggested! I never knew there were others like me. This started about a year ago and i have been so ashamed. You gave me hope tonight.
Thank you!

[downtimeheals]

Thanks for responding to my post...I'm so glad you found some of the things I wrote useful. I wish there had been a bulletin board like this when I first started having lots of picking trouble years ago, but I'm so glad it's here now so I can share what I've learned and read what others have to say

[scarreddaisy]

I have never heard of exfoliating gloves.... that sounds like a really good idea... where did you get them?

[downtimeheals]

They're usually in the more fancy "spa" section of a cosmetic/soap/bath area along with loofah's and wooden massage things and pumice and hair-wrap towels and bath salts and so forth. They come in many colors. I've also seen ones that are more like oven mitts too...with a soft side and an exfoliating side.

I would try good grocery stores, drugstores, health food stores with a good bath & body section, Body Shop, etc.

I'll keep my eyes open for them, and keep you posted!

By the way, when you find some, don't scrub too hard with 'em--they're great 'cause your fingertips can't find things to pick at, but they're PLENTY exfoliating without any extra pressure.

[e]

wow. you just helped me make a connection with other habits i have... i'm a label-peeler/straw-wrapper-folder/napkin-wadder as well as a skin picker! i never thought about them being similar to picking, but they really are.

i don't know what all this means , but it gives me lots to think about.

thanks!

[downtimeheals]

Hi e...

My first thought reading your last post is this: you know how smokers always talk about having an "oral fixation"? We've got "tactile fixations"! Finding ways to stimulate our fingertips that DON'T take a toll on our skin is pretty darn handy--no pun intended

[e]

i couldn't agree more that we have a tactile fixation. after thinking about what you've written, i came up with an idea to keep my fingers busy when i'm watching tv or talking on the phone (times when i pick at my back and scalp). i'm going to make a bead chain with all different types of beads -- different textures (especially bumpy ones), different sizes, etc -- and keep it near the couch. the plan is to have it handy so i can play with the beads instead of picking.

[downtimeheals]

A multi-textured bead chain sounds like a GREAT idea, e. That reminds me, aren't there things actually called "worry beads"?

Oh, and by the way...all those things you mentioned: peeling labels, destroying napkins--I do every single one of them too!

[e]

worry beads, exactly! i've heard of them, but i've never seen them. so i'll make my own.

by the way, downtime, i want you to know that your member name alone has been inspiration to me. whenever i get the urge to pick now, your name comes to mind. it's great how much reminding yourself that "downtime heals" can make you back off from the mirror!

[downtimeheals]

I want you to know how much I appreciate your last post, e

When I first discovered this board (not that very long ago), I thought a lot about what to call myself. I really wanted to choose something positive. I'm so glad it's affected you this way!