New with a lot of questions!

[Stef (Incubabe)]

I have a boyfriend. I was with him when I first found this site...wait. No I wasn't. I lied. lol It's a complicated thing. We started dating when I was a sophomore in high school. We lasted a little over a month and I felt he was getting too close and was going to find out about my picking. So I broke up with him. He remained a very close friend and I ended up telling him about it over the summer. I had previously told him that I cut myself and he was super supportive and helped me stop. So I told him about picking. He tried to understand as best he could, and he even signed on this board with an anonymous name. (Grr him) lol School came around and we got back together. We've been together ever since, save a minor break up about a month ago for stupid reasons. But he never judges me on my picking, even though I know it's a problem in our relationship. It hurts him to have to watch me struggle with this. But he's always there, and he keeps an eye on me when he can. He tells me I'm beautiful no matter what. And he also notices the progress I've made and makes it a point to tell me, so that always makes me feel good. :-)

In the beginning I was worried about make-up coming off, and I would constantly re-apply it. I still do sometimes if I had a bad session the night before and I don't want him to see it. But otherwise, I don't wear any make-up around him. He never comments on anything. Never examines my face all weird. Just accepts that I can't help it right now, and lets it go. :-)

And if you want a decent make-up that's cheap, try CoverGirl Continuous Wear make-up. It comes in a little like...squeeze-like tube. It stays on. And if you accidentally get thrown in a lake, as long as you don't rub your face, it will stay on. It sucks when you sweat, but otherwise it's really good. I've been using it for quite some time.

[starrdust007]

One thing I notice that separates me from most people on these forums is that I'm not, ashamed, per se. Everyone here seems very focused on covering up the idiosynchratic behaviors and the bad effects it has on the skin; I read a lot of things about being afraid to have a boyfriend, and what make-up covers it up the best, and I feel...different. I never bothered to cover up the red wounds all over my forhead and scalp, I never was afraid to have a boyfriend, I have never been ashamed of this disease because I feel that it isn't my fault. It's some type of anxiety or compulsive disorder, and I'm not ashamed of it. And I don't think anyone else should be either. Now don't get me wrong, that's not to say I like it; I HATE seeing my face in the mirror because of what I've done to it BUT, in my opinion, this disease is ALREADY primarily based in a dysmorphic view of ourselves--simply meaning, there is something wrong with us if we pick the skin off of our faces--and so it makes it harder to have confidence, which is why we should try that much harder (especially the females, it may sound sexist but statistically speaking it's the girls who do and will inevitably face the most sexism and lookism in their lives & who will feel the worst about themselves). So, don't be proud that you pick, but don't be ashamed either. This is an uncontrollable disease, and it isn't our faults...not to mention that I'm sure slopping all that cover-up on can't be good for the skin.