New member

[tlp11]

This is my first attempt to get support on this nasty habit outside of some brief counseling - which was of no help. I have been picking my lips ever since I can remember. My mom is a nail picker (will pick finger nails until almost gone) and my sister is a lip and skin picker like me. I am 36 yrs old, not so happily married, and have 2 beautiful girls (oldest is 3, youngest is 8 mo.). My habit has caused many of fights with my husband and my 3 yr. old has early signs of the habit (lip biting) - which really bothers me. Unfortunately, it hasn't bothered me enough to quit completely. My habit has subsided some, but not completely. I find that I pick my lips mostly in the car, while reading or watching TV. I pick my skin on my face and arms at night mostly, despite being exhausted, when everyone has gone to bed. I used to bite my nails but was able to quit on my own 10 years ago. I want to quit this shameful habit on my own as well without medications (nursing 8 mo. old and am not a big pill taker). I can use all the understanding support I can get. There are so many things that I am successful at and don't understand why I can't kick this habit. I know there is an "addiction" element to it. This has got to stop because I don't want my girls having to go through this like I have. I just hope it is not too late.

[anonymousartist]

hi and welcome to the boards

Of course it's not too late! It can never be too late. Well, I don't have a real big problem with lip picking (though I do it occasioanally) so I don't know that I have any great tips but I know this board has helped me a lot with skin picking because it helped me to see that we're not alone.

Do you moisturise your lips often? Maybe you can start a new habit of putting on some colored lip gloss or something and it'll feel or taste funny when you try to pick or bite. You've gotta do something to interrupt the habit so that you can make it a conscious decision whether or not to pick or bite.

Remember that lips heal very quickly, so even cutting back your habit for a few days can make a world of difference. Have some faith. (and I also am not into medication, though there is an interesting thread on on one of the other boards on the vitamin precursor, inositol, that I found increasing in my diet through natural food consumption helped me with my anxiety. Some people have found it to help them stop picking. I figure increasing it through diet (I didn't take the powdered form) can't hurt but since your'e nursing maybe ask your doctor before doing anything).

Good luck,
--becca

[sunshinefunk]

Welcome,
It seems that lots of people on this site don't want to transfer their habits to their children. I don't have any children, but I wouldn't wish skin picking on my enemies, so I can see why you want your children never to start. It is difficult, I know. I pick my face, chest, back, and shoulders (mostly). Like Becca said, try to become aware of your habit and do something in it's place. While in the car, ALWAYS keep both hands on the wheel. I drive for my job, so I'm constantly in a situation to pick. With both hands on the wheel, I can't. Same with reading. BOTH hands on the book.
Hope this helps. Good luck and welcome.
-sunshine-

[brad]

I am new here too. But I can certainly relate to the "passing the torch" guilt. My wife and I passed ADD to our kids and I passed the picking habit to her. She curses me sometimes because she now fiddles with her fingernails like I do. <sigh>

BTW, I keep vaseline lip therapy on my lips a couple times a day to prevent dryness which inevitably leads to me biting my lip skin. I used to be a blistex addict. now I am a vaseline addict. I go through about 5 of those tubes a year. Keep one in my pocket every day. I'd say there are only about 3-7 days per year I actually bite my lips because I won't let them get dry, sticky or 'weird" feeling.

Maybe that would help. You might want to start with one that tastes bad like the neosporin lip therapy - yuck! You probably would stop biting from the smell alone. FWIW. I DO keep a tube of that in my pocket too - for use on my fingernails when I've picked them into minor injuries.

[brad]

sunshinefunk said:

While in the car, ALWAYS keep both hands on the wheel. I drive for my job, so I'm constantly in a situation to pick. With both hands on the wheel, I can't. Same with reading. BOTH hands on the book.

It's so funny you say this. I drive home and it's such a crazy game to keep both hands on the wheel and not one picking at my neck.

[stilltrying]

tlp11 said:

Unfortunately, it hasn't bothered me enough to quit completely.

That's really where it has to start. I'm 36. I have two kids and a great husband. I have been picking since I was 13. TWENTY-THREE YEARS.

I almost quit about 4 years ago because I had this wonderful son and I didn't want him growing up with a Mom who had scabs all over her upper arms and who picked her arms as soon as she was in the sunlight. Park trips were so hard -- he would say look at me! And there I was picking something.

I had a second son and he's about a year and a half old now. I pick a few things, though I'm trying to stop that, but my arms are clear. Clear clear clear. I had another chemical peel when the baby was 1 (I'm still nursing but that was the age when I didn't worry so much about supply any more, though it wasn't a problem).

What happened, I think, is that when I tried to stop before (I had a chemical peel -- worked great for about a year) I wasn't prepared. I have bumps and I just adore popping them. It's satisfying. After the first peel, I thought everything would magically go away. (falls on the floor laughing)

I saw a big bump, popped it and it was all downhill from there, like a dam bursting.

Now I know several things. I will have bumps in my skin all my life (just like you, well, you will always have lips! :) ) and so I had to decide: having my skin look good and be unpicked was most important to me. Yeah, I also wanted to pick, but more than that, I wanted my skin back. Just today there are some bumps, classic ones I know just how they will pop. Instead of getting all hot and bothered about how that would feel, I focused on that it would bleed, scab, and then heal with scarred skin AND, of course, a new bump forming that just simple squeezing wouldn't get out. I don't want to go there. I just don't.

Do I like that these things are in my skin? No.

But I like my skin looking nice. More than anything. More than seeing stuff pop.

I wish I knew how to translate this to lip picking, because I'm not sure what can be a deterrent while you get back on track. But this is what helped me. Once things looked good again, I was determined not to start again. This site helps a lot too.


stilltrying