Post by anonymousartist on May 22, 2005 10:32:33 GMT -5
well you have taken the first step coming here. keep posting, I know this board has helped me cut back quite a lot. If you look around you'll notice that there are so many people with this problem (I'm one of them) and we're not freaks. What we have is a compulsion, sometimes a coping mechanism that turned into a habit that's hard to stop. If you are feeling helpless, you may want to seek counseling and some therapy.
On the boy situation, you said you've been in love for two years; is this mutual? Does he share these feelings for you? If you are unsure you have to make it clear to him that you feel this way. I've done the unrequited love thing at your age and sometimes it has more to do with not feeling secure in yourself than actually being in love, because being in love includes being loved back (and not just in an intimate way). And are you sure you're ready to be intimate with him? There is absolutely nothing wrong with going slow (in fact, the internet is a great resource so find out answers to any questions you have about that, from sex information to alternatives to having sex). And it's ok if you're not ready! (It's also ok if you are, but be safe). But don't mistake that this guy wants to be intimate with you for him being in love with you. That should come first, really.
As far as picking goes, those spots aren't the real problem. Don't let them be. Every day for the next week, why not put on a t-shirt and go out to a grocery store or park for a couple hours, someplace where no one knows you? You don't need to hide yourself, and you'll find that people just won't judge you on this. (And if you can keep away from your arms for just a few days I'm sure they will clear up quite a bit). It may be scary at first, but it'll feel good to start getting out again. You don't have to let this control your life. You don't have to be perfect. Look around you, no one is.
And you can tell this boy about it (does he even call you his girlfriend? if not I'm thinking it's not as much as you want it to be. And I'm not trying to belittle it's just that I'm getting the feeling that I've been where you are emotionally). There is a chance he won't understand it. You can look up information about picking on the internet, print it out, highlight the things that seem relavent to your case, and use that to help him understand if and when you tell him. And if you lose him because of this, he's just not worth it in the first place (and by that I do mean you are worth way more and deserve way better. I know it's hard to have confidence with a picking problem but in ten years no matter what happens with this guy probably won't matter so you'll be ok).
good luck,
--becca
On the boy situation, you said you've been in love for two years; is this mutual? Does he share these feelings for you? If you are unsure you have to make it clear to him that you feel this way. I've done the unrequited love thing at your age and sometimes it has more to do with not feeling secure in yourself than actually being in love, because being in love includes being loved back (and not just in an intimate way). And are you sure you're ready to be intimate with him? There is absolutely nothing wrong with going slow (in fact, the internet is a great resource so find out answers to any questions you have about that, from sex information to alternatives to having sex). And it's ok if you're not ready! (It's also ok if you are, but be safe). But don't mistake that this guy wants to be intimate with you for him being in love with you. That should come first, really.
As far as picking goes, those spots aren't the real problem. Don't let them be. Every day for the next week, why not put on a t-shirt and go out to a grocery store or park for a couple hours, someplace where no one knows you? You don't need to hide yourself, and you'll find that people just won't judge you on this. (And if you can keep away from your arms for just a few days I'm sure they will clear up quite a bit). It may be scary at first, but it'll feel good to start getting out again. You don't have to let this control your life. You don't have to be perfect. Look around you, no one is.
And you can tell this boy about it (does he even call you his girlfriend? if not I'm thinking it's not as much as you want it to be. And I'm not trying to belittle it's just that I'm getting the feeling that I've been where you are emotionally). There is a chance he won't understand it. You can look up information about picking on the internet, print it out, highlight the things that seem relavent to your case, and use that to help him understand if and when you tell him. And if you lose him because of this, he's just not worth it in the first place (and by that I do mean you are worth way more and deserve way better. I know it's hard to have confidence with a picking problem but in ten years no matter what happens with this guy probably won't matter so you'll be ok).
good luck,
--becca