please help me

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So lately i've been doing so well - actually having pickfree WEEKS...my skin looked virtually flawless (with a little makeup) and i had that glow and confidence that only comes with a clear face.

UNTIL, about 2 weeks ago, when i starting picking again. since then it's been an awful cycle that i can't stop, no matter how hard i try, and now it's as if i'm right back at where i began. i feel as though i've tried and failed, and that it really is hopeless to fight. i have a concert tomorrow night (i'm a music major) in which i'm featured as a soloist, and my parents are coming to visit. i should be excited and proud, but i don't even want to walk out of my house, much less onto a stage.

if anyone has any advice or encouragement, i would appreciate it so much

[anonymousartist]

well, my sister has been involved with music for quite a while and I've seen some of her solo performances so I'll tell you what I would notice if I were in that audience.....I would notice first of all how much of herself she was putting into the music she was playing.

All you have to do is get up there on that stage with confidence and be at one with the music and no one is going to take a look at your skin (hell, even in everyday life, most people look straight through that, except sometimes people with the same problem, and we have nothing to hide from them, do we?)

So congratulate yourself for quitting for so long. Once you get back on the wagon it will be easier next time to go longer. All you have to do is keep trying to make progress, a little at a time. Don't feel shame or guilt for what you've done. You're still doing great!

Let us know how your performance goes.

--Becca

[Krib]

I agree, weeks without picking is still unthinkable for me, it's a massive achievement, well done! No-one will be able to see your skin anyway, and yep, we overestimate how much people even notice it, just because it's all we *do* notice! You should be very proud of yourself

[running2stndstill]

I too think it's amazing that you had such a good pick-free time. You know they say for people quitting smoking that each time you quit (even if and when you relapse) your chances for success THE NEXT TIME improve. So good on you for getting closer.

And just try to block your temptations- i.e. don't turn the light on in the bathroom if you can help it; when you put your makeup on tomorrow try to just have that "this is the last time" resolve, and do the best you can to cover up the damage. And know that you are your own worst critic. Hold your head high and know that you are a wonderful, talented, beautiful person, even though that critical voice inside of you is trying to tell you loudly right now that you are not.
You know that expression- that most of the job/ (insert what you will here) is just showing up. So be kind to yourself, and show up.
I know that if you had the courage to reach out here for support, you have it in you to kick ass tomorrow.
Good luck,
K

[dontfencemein]

One of the things that i try to remember is this: The more attention you pay to it, the more attention they will pay to it as well.

When you see someone that has bad acne that doesn't pick, or some other problem- a handicap or whatever- and they have a great attitude you get more attracted to their attitude than their problem. Hope that makes sense.

I played string bass for 8 years- I know the kind of show performance you can be under. But congratulations on the solo-it is a high honor. ;D And one musician to another, let your music tell people whats in your heart- not nessisarily your face.

{{{HUGS}}} and good luck!

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So...the concert went great and my face is healing-
neosporin really does work wonders!
thanks for all your help, i'm so happy i found this place

[bellsforceles]

Wow, I'm a music major too!

Every time I have a concert I just put a lot of makeup on... the lights on the stage tend to make it melt off though (the chinrest on my viola gets all greasy because of it, unfortunately) but at least nobody can tell. I've got to play a solo tomorrow and I plan on using my good buddy Clinique to cover up the sores.

So, I guess my advice would just be to use lots of makeup, and make sure it's something "matte" so that the stage lights don't make your face shiny.

[K not logged in]

I'm so happy it went well! Yay for you!! Way to go ;D

-K

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bellsforceles-

i took violin as a secondary, and i know what you mean with the makeup getting all over the chinrest...my teacher must have thought i was crazy because i kept hiding the instrument behind my back so i could wipe it off! oh well!

hope your concert went well