Why am I Beening So Selfish?

[dabbit]

With Comic Relieve Coming around, and hearing all the awful stories of peoples lifes, that most of us could never even imagine how much pain these people go through in there life.
So Why do i feel like i am the person who is suffering the most in this life? Is it just me beening selfish and Nieve?
Just Because,I have OCD, CPN BDD and Social Phobia and have tried commiting suciede twice and hate my self so much and wishing i was dead and unable to go out the house beacuse of my spots and sking picking
I still am loved by my family
I have a warm and cosy home
I eat and drink everyday
I live in luxery compared to the 3rd world
And so much more
And all i can think about at this moment is how bad my life is, I really do need a reality check
Sorry to go on about me

[Holly]

I don't see you as being selfish. You are hurting and when we are hurting we need to take care of ourselves and our needs. We need to be 'selfish' if we can call it that, to care enough about ourselves to get help.

Of course there will always be people that have it worse than we do. It's sad to say but even the homeless in Canada, U.S.A. (and the UK) probably have it better than some people in undeveloped countries.

It hit home for me a few days after the tsunami. I was in my bed so comfy, cozy and warm and thinking how being in my bed is the most wonderful feeling in the world and then the thought occurred to me that so many people at that same moment in time were sitting under tarps in the rain without anything and not even knowing if their loved ones survived or not.

We can always count our blessings. Write them down if it helps. Try to turn negatives into positives. Take care of yourself, including your therapy or treatments for your own personal set of disorders. Remind yourself that we all have our own struggles, medical conditions, ups and downs. Keep busy with things you enjoy.

Hope I don't sound too 'preachy',
Holly

[MonDoTwisteDMoJo]

Yea I've been thinking about this lately too. I feel kinda gross sometimes because of the luxury we live in- I need to integrate some kind of charity work into my life now that i am starting to think about college. I bet Americans have many stresses and emotional disorders that don't even exist in other countries, but for those of us who live in loving households it is a blessed life compared to life in most of the rest of the world- or so I would think. Did anyone read the Time magazine article recently about the guy who proposed a solution to totally end worldwide poverty? I always thought I was naive for not understanding why we could not just take even a little bit from the ridiculously rich to make such a huge difference in the lives of those who struggle to survive every day- hundreds and hundreds of millions of people. I mean, just don't make one stupid teen movie or remake, and that's millions and millions right there. It seems so easy, just to balance it out I mean. But I guess we can't just take money from those who have "earned" it- would screw up human rights or the economy, etc. Have you ever watched The Fabulous Life of... or Cribs? geez...

[lauryn]

its all relative

[dabbit]

I am glad to see i am not the only one who has thought like this.
And Thanks for sharing your comments with me on this subject

[moratorium]

I have a real problem with this imperial attitude that the West somehow sets the standards of living for the whole world. I believe to some extent, a lot of the people in so-called developed countries have immense pride in their culture and don't like being portrayed as the impoverished, penurious, benighted minions.

Although they be materially poor, they are rich in other ways. Fighting for survival as part of a community, with very strong family values can often provide a much more temperate existence than for those in the west with an emotional deprivation, struggling with the inanity of affluence and the pressure to succeed materialistically.

Here's a great article about the divergent occurrences of mental health problems in affluent as opposed to poor children. Just because mod-cons are extant doesn't lessen the tangible suffering so many feel.

[lauryn]

thanks for the article

[Holly]

I disagree with your post. There are thousands of people dying of diseases that are preventable and treatable, dying of starvation, living in war torn countries without access to clean water, (the list goes on) and you doubt that we in the Western world have it better than they do?

When basic physiological needs are not being met, cultural pride doesn't count for much, regardless of how many big words we use.

Just my opinion...

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moratorium said:

I have a real problem with this imperial attitude that the West somehow sets the standards of living for the whole world. I believe to some extent, a lot of the people in so-called developed countries have immense pride in their culture and don't like being portrayed as the impoverished, penurious, benighted minions.

Although they be materially poor, they are rich in other ways. Fighting for survival as part of a community, with very strong family values can often provide a much more temperate existence than for those in the west with an emotional deprivation, struggling with the inanity of affluence and the pressure to succeed materialistically.

Here's a great article about the divergent occurrences of mental health problems in affluent as opposed to poor children. Just because mod-cons are extant doesn't lessen the tangible suffering so many feel.

[moratorium]

Hi Holly,

Thanks for your considered riposte. I realise my post may have seemed a tad iconoclastic and liable to offend. I know there is suffering whereever life prevails but I believe it is rather inequitous to ennoble malnutrition and disease as a verite example of true suffering while the much less visible emotional and psychological damage under the guise of bourgeois living only receives an arms-length acknowledgment.

I readily concede this warped sense of thinking only comes from the marginalisation I feel having been abused by neglectful parents and constantly being told to merely 'pull myself out' of my depression and perpetual anxiety. It is rather paradoxical that here I am, living amongst the so-called cultural elite, wishing upon myself the very things people are striving to relieve themselves of in the throes of poverty. I actively wish death and disease on myself, I starve myself, am declared to be underweight in an over-indulgent society, I am an aspirant of death having attempted suicide many times. I revere the very hardships so many fight against. And yet, I sincerely admire the camaraderie and survival instinct of people living on the fringes of existence. I truly believe they are more in touch with a will to live and sangfroid acceptance of what is thrown at them that has thus far eluded me in my ill-fated brush with life.

I apologise for my adversarial thinking patterns. I genuinely didn't mean to offend you.

[dabbit]

I have to say that this is a great site, where people can opionate there views and believes freely,
and the world would be a very boring place if everyone agreed which each others views on the world.

So i am glad to see two different peoples opions on this subject,and not everyone agreeing with each other, which i have found very intresting to read.
So just a quick thanks for Holly and Moratorium for making it a great subject.

[JustMe]

I don't think you are being selfish. Just trying to take care of yourself and that isn't selfish. I wish I could give you a big hug instead of just this {{{{hug}}}}. Hang in there.

[moratorium]

dabbit, you're such a sweet soul. Never before have I seen such mannered courtesy on an interactive forum.

Your posts are always so intuitive and polite. It's really heartening. I hope you're doing OK contending with the troubles you've been facing.

[dabbit]

Well as i was taught, a with a few pleases and thank yous can go a long way and there is no excuse for not saying them. So if it makes some one feel a tiny bit better about themselfs, why not say a simple word, like that.

[Holly]

Hi moratorium,

I did take offense at the content of your post, but I think it had more to do with your choice of words.

I apologize for my sarcastic comment regarding the use of 'big words'.
You obviously are very intelligent and have an awesome command of the English language. This help board is for people of all ages, nationalities and educational levels. I think it is more helpful to all if the language is more simple and easily understood.

I can understand your position more readily after reading a bit of your life story. I am not trying to dismiss emotional or psychological pain with my post.
When I have been in the depths of depression, I feel the same as the original poster. How can I be so depressed and feel so hopeless when I have a roof over my head, food to eat, people to love and people who love me, and to be so fortunate to live in a peaceful, beautiful country. I have to remember to count my blessings and do my best to feel grateful for my life.

Thank you for your apology.
Happy Easter to you.

Holly~

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moratorium said:

I apologise for my adversarial thinking patterns. I genuinely didn't mean to offend you.

[moratorium]

Hi Holly,

Thanks for being so kind-hearted and understanding. I'm sorry if my musings struck the wrong chord, I was really just sounding off in a ramshackle torrent of disaffection. I'm sorry I couldn't express myself more cogently, I am blighted by irrepressible verbosity! ;D

It shows such good grace that despite the depression you have endured you are still able to keep a healthy perspective. Your positive approach to the trials of life is a delight to behold.

Sorry again for my ad hominem, quasi-intellectual nonsense. I think I may try to count my blessings as a substitutive activity in lieu of having received no Easter eggs!

I hope you have lots of blessings/eggs in your midst for Easter Holly.

Best wishes,

Mora.