Recommended Reading

[needshelpinBigD]

Hi Everyone

Been awhile since i've posted. I ordered a book that came today, and i've sat and read half of it.... I actually ordered it for reasons totally unrelated to skin picking, but actually finding many applications to this topic, and i guess it resonated cause it adds some science behind that "My Ramblings" thread i posted a few months back when i first discovered the board.

Anyways...it really gets into BELIEFS(not in a religious sense), INTERNAL STATES, and how that impacts our daily existence.(NLP Neuro Linguistic Programming...but at the end user level) This was the huge factor that "getting it" has led to my success in dramatically overcoming picking....and to be honest, something that (when reading between the lines) is missing in alot of peoples posts, that hopefully they can fix.

So, if anyone's interested....the book is Unlimited Power: The New Science of Personal Achievement by Tony Robbins.

well worth the $10 from amazon.com

best wishes.

[running2stndstill]

can you elaborate at all on what that "missing" part is (i.e. what was it for you?)

Thanks,
K

[needshelpinBigD]

Hi K

I don't want to make sweeping generalizations (since i haven't lurked much lately),but in order to answer your question, when i was posting/lurking more, what i would see in so many posts was the undertones of "i can't control this" (either explicitly said, or reading between the lines) as opposed to a CONGRUENT BELIEF shift that YOU/I/WE/US can control this.( To be clear, i'm in the pragmatic camp...not the religious OSPA side...not to knock that effort) This is what i felt/feel is missing in many posts.

The first step was breaking the unconscious sequence of events, the 2nd...believing i had control over it.

From what i've read so far in the book...this is exactly whats its been talking about and how to break(not skin picking per se...it's up to reader to draw the parallels...although he does discuss how he used his methodology to break an unconscious nail biting habit, by surprise ....breaking the unconscious sequence of events, the 2nd...believing i had control over it.)

Check out my earlier thread if you are curious, i tried to expand on this a few months ago.
facepick.proboards6.com/index.cgi?board=Support&action=display&n=1&thread=1877

N

[skigirl]

Hey Needshelp:

I recall reading your ramblings posting before, and couldn't agree more. In fact, just today, after not posting all that much for quite awhile, I read some of the posts and again was struck by the same thing I think you've been seeing. Sort of this acceptance of a problem, without really believing in a solution. I wonder when I read your posts just how successful you've been in not picking - is it just a difference in only picking for a few minutes versus hours, or are you complete ZT? Without having the monthly attitude adjustment that we chicks so much enjoy, I wonder if a dude is better able to control this thing. But I do believe that all other factors aside, this mostly comes down to making a decision of what's best for you. To pick or not to pick. I'm a true believer in the power of inner dialogue - that we can tweak our attitudes, and therefore our behaviors, by telling ourselves to think differently. Think I'll give the book a try. So thanks.

Skigirl

[needshelpinBigD]

Hey Skigirl.

******You sound like you would be VEEERY receptive to this book. go....order....now. **********

As far as my picking....it's a whole different world. not ZT...but pretty damn close, and when i do, it's not an unconscious act. We're talking orderS of magnitude less than what i was. i.e maybe less than 5 body picks in several months since i found board and that realization i posted.

all from this mindset/belief shift, and again ....it HAS to be an internal belief shift that you do control it. complete congruence..... you can't fake it.

There's alot of "misery loves company" posts, is what it boils down to, to be blunt.

There are so many applicable quotes i could post from just the first 3rd of the book... which is why i just posted the book title. But it discusses techniques to affect the changes....BUT the big thing is you have to believe in the power, and it does a good job of swaying someone on the fence to this realization.

N

[skigirl]

Ah yes, the misery loves company. In fact, several people have posted that they actually pick MORE sometimes after being here. I see the pattern - everybody feels better when they initially discover this, because they know they're not the only one, but then it seems to shift to a link between picking and reading/writing posts. Maybe because picking's on the brain just from reading about it. I will pick up the book - later! I've got too much studying to do, little or no time to pick anyway. Sounds like a nice summer read. Well, glad you found some help with it, and good on you with the less picking.

[needshelpinBigD]

YES! This was why i drifted away....as i got further away from constant picking, my skin became much less of a focus...meaning MY focus, what i thought other PEOPLEs focus on my skin was...the whole damn thing, just took a MUCH MUCH MUCH less impactive role in my day to day, and the constant reading on the board, just was bringing it back to the forefront, all the while, the PROGRESS was moving it to be a minor blip on the radar skin.

two competing forces...

i want and would be willing to be here daily if it was truely affirmative and discussing REAL proactive solutions. I think though ,in defense of of the other posts(that i'm not a fan of), the thinking hasn't progressed enough yet, BUT yet and there IS comfort and healing in those exchanges which is theraputic. THE KEY FACTOR is shifting OUT of that ***PHASE*** (that we all go through) into a healing/progress mentality. NOT staying in the ..."oh it's ok, other people do it too, lets wallow... mentality."

N

[Krib]

I can see where you are coming from here, definitely. Sometimes being on the board intensifies my urge to pick, and I've definitely thought about CSP differently since I found out so many people were in the same situation, it almost became slightly more "normalised", disturbingly. However- I think that with or without the board, "wallowing" will occur, and ultimately, knowing that "others do it too" can encourage people to be more honest to their loved ones about their problem. As in, "I'm not a freak, this is medical".

Did you "disagree" with many of the posts before you read this book? Was it only this book that pushed you into the "healing / progress" stage? I'm not entirely sure that the board is hindering this mentality, as there's some kind encouragement for others to stop picking in nearly every post.

I do understand your viewpoint though, I am on this board a lot now, probably too much for it to be entirely healthy. I don't think I pick more, but it makes me think about it more often. Hmm.

[needshelpinBigD]

Hi Krib

No, i hope it didn't come across as knocking this board! I think this board is fantastic when used properly! Discovering it actually what led me to be (almost) pick free.

As far as the book, no....what had gotten me on the path to healing was how i started to think about picking after i discovered the board. For me, that was like the shake that let all the pieces fall together. Sorta like "my wake up call" .. The way i was able to make progress, i outlined in the post a few months ago(follow link above)

The reason i posted about the book, as it turns out there is scientific basis to your inner state and the power that can wield , and i'm hoping others might read it. It obviously is much more expanded, thorough, and credible than just some joe schmoe posting on a msg board, like myself.

N

[needshelpinBigD]

There's quite a bit in there from what i've read so far. Arguments AGAINST traditional therapy techniques, overcoming personal obstacles, etc...

We probably could get into a a pretty lively discussion if we all go off and read it!

N

[anonymousartist]

this is a very interesting thread. I've found that from people sharing their frustrations here it took away from my embarassment and shame about picking which helped me cut down quite a bit (and really I felt much less pressure. I don't totally feel like my habit or compulsion is an illness, and not to knock other people who do, but I found out that so many other people do it, and not thinking of it as an illness helps me to stop). I think there was a very important point made, that we can put more emphasis around here that we can take control and we can stop.

(I've had other compulsions that I have stopped, and I fully plan on stopping this one.)

Perhaps if this is a particular attitude we want to convey, instead of a board with varying opinions to bury it (I personally think diversity is a good thing, no matter), it would be constructive to work on a web page or site that helps to spread a more optimistic approach.

[K not signed in]

very interesting. I think it's great everyone shared their thoughts and experiences and in a respectful way. That's really cool.